How to cope with family

I know what you mean. I remember feeling that way - just wanted it to be a bad dream and go away. Wake up and be back to normal. This is the worst time - waiting on appointments and clarity on your treatment plan and wondering how you’ll manage to tell others without breaking down. Take your time, only tell family when you’re ready to share. Hopefully, by this time next year, your treatment will be over and you’ll be feeling almost normal again. There’s so many of us on the same journey, but at different stages. Just remind yourself that treatment of breast cancer has come a long way in recent years  and many go on to have as long a life as someone without cancer. There are some llovely inspirational stories on this forum. Take care. Xx

Hi BethS 

Thank you. I'm trying to stay positive and not let my mind run away with me until I know what I'm dealing with. I keep jumping to worst case scenario then I panic. I've had to ask my partner not to tell anyone else (he text his family to tell them before I'd even left my recall appointment at the breast screening clinic) as I need to do this in my own way and at my own pace. Xx 

Hello Heather lassie, I saw your post yesterday but didn’t have time to reply to you. It brought up many feelings for me about telling family and friends. I had breast cancer in 2015, so have been through all this before.  I didn’t realise then that I needed time to process what was going on for me before being faced with dealing with the reactions and responses of others. I’m currently trying to work out how to tell some members of my family who already have significant problems of their own, as I was diagnosed with another cancer in October. This time I have so far only told folks on a need-to-know basis, (easier this time as I’m no longer working) so people can manage their expectations of me and I have felt more in control of what is happening to me. The hospital staff are massively supportive and are always there to answer questions and offer reassurance. They keep telling me it’s helpful to cry.

So I really hope your time with your partner’s family went ok. Be as emotional as you like and remember it’s YOUR body and you tell others only if & when YOU choose or need to. 

Best wishes x

Hi WhoAmi 

Thank you so much! It's reassuring to hear about your experience. I'm so sorry to hear you are on this journey again. I hadn't appreciated how massive this diagnosis is and how much mental and emotional effort it takes to process what's happening. I've just had a phone call from the hospital with my appointment to get biopsy results and be told what happens next. Absolutely knocked me for six again. It's like I've managed to put this to the back of my mind over Christmas but now it's suddenly very real again. Unrealistically I'd imagined them phoning to say it's all been a big mistake and I'm fine but obviously that didn't happen. My appointment is in 2 weeks' time so still in limbo waiting to find out what I'm facing. Xx