Do I have cancer or not?

Hi Megansgran I know exactly where you’re coming from. I had a mastectomy and reconstruction for stage 2 cancer. My own Mum told me I didn’t have cancer not long after my operation. Even though I still had to go through radiotherapy and hormone therapy. At that point I hadn’t had the all clear and I was hurt and confused. She also felt the need to tell me about all the other people that she knew who had cancer and they were all worse off than me. We had to ban that topic! So some people would say I only had it for a few months. But it is something that we’ll live with forever. 
Take care

Jen. 

Thank you! It certainly does mess with your head doesn’t it? I appreciate you taking the time to respond. On with the show!

I totally get where you are coming from. I found my lump myself, it's only small and the consultant said she said she was impressed that I'd found it.

I had my surgery on Monday and other than being bored because I can't lift etc I have been fine.

When I see posts of huge scars, masectomies, chemo side effects etc, I feel a fraud too. But at the end of the day it's still cancer no matter how big or how small. If anyone ever says anything to me about it being small, you've not had long etc, they'll find themselves deleted from my life like my lump.

I must admit I was quite naive before my diagnosis. This is despite a strong family history. Mum cervical and breast, her sister breast, their mum ovarian and breast and my dad prostate. I just thought breast cancer was one, prostate another etc. I did not know there were so many different types of breast cancer.  Therefore different types of treatment not just masectomy followed by chemo and then radio, mums treatment.

I didn't know all that she had to go through to have the op, the tests before op, the waiting for results, what having chemo involved same with radiotherapy. I saw the effects these had on her body, the hairloss, the pain but I didn't know the half of it.

How much the waiting gets to you. I know now, some of it, not all, I never will, as each person's journey is differnt its their own, but its still a cancer journey and I don't think it ever leaves once you've been told you have cancer. Somehow, we all have to find a way to live with that. I've not worked that one out yet. It could be I don't think about it, out of sight, out of mind. When I first felt my lump, I started to wear my bra 24/7, if I didn't see my boob it didn't exist.

Sue xx

Hi Megansgran. I'm in exactly the same place as you. Waiting for radiotherapy and on Letrozole for 5 years. I felt that maybe I should be 'over it' now but we're all still on the journey to make sure we're completely clear and it doesn't come back. Don't feel a fraud at all and make sure you look after yourself physically and mentally. These forums are brilliant and everyone here is so supportive. 

I hope your treatment goes well. xx

Hi Sue.  I was similar in that “if I don’t touch it , it’s not there”. Sounds daft, and I’m supposedly a reasonably intelligent person .  But that’s how it was, and still is to some extent.  
Thank you for responding. I really do appreciate it. Xx

Thank you for taking the time to reply and for your wise words.  Radiotherapy planning appointment is on 10th July so not long to wait for the actual radiotherapy sessions after that I hope!  Let me know how it goes for you.  I wish you all the best xx

I found this link on another part of this site:

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

i hope it’s helpful xx

I feel like that even though I’m just a year ago diagnosed. I’ve had two types of cancer going .. one in each breast so ended up having double mastectomy and chemo but thankfully it was all very doable but yes I had really tough times too. I just don’t see me being a cancer victim and feel fraudulent  taking time off work. I’m currently waiting just to go down to theatre to have both ovaries and tubes removed as I type this as precautionary treatment but not even nervous after everything that’s happened. I think we survived and so we are very grateful. Life will go on, I’m Changed as a person but still feel I’ve just had a little blip to deal with compared to some others I hear about. We are the survivors. I tend to down play it all and just get on with life but I think it has a lot to do with the type of personality you are tbh. Well done and glad you’re ok now. 

Thank you.  I’ve managed to catch Covid so starting my radiotherapy next week is in doubt .  You’ve certainly been through the mill bless you. I hope you recover quickly and look after yourself. X

There’s def worse cases than me happening around us and I’m just very grateful to get past it all. Get well soon. And take care x