Work

Hi Mustard . So sorry you are feeling like this . Can you let us know where you are up to with treatment and somebody may be able to advise the best course of action x 

Hi Mustard

Welcome to,the forum and I am sorry to hear that you have breast cancer and that you are struggling. Because you have cancer you are considered to have a disability so you are coved by disability legislation so they can’t fire you because you are ill.

You can ring the helpline on 0808 808 00 00 to talk to someone about your entitlements as regards to work.

Wishing you the best of luck with everything.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hi, I work in HR and I'm sorry that anticipating a call from HR is stressful for you.  In our company, HR would be calling to check in with anyone who is off sick, just a welfare call, to see if they're doing ok and if we can support.  Maybe it helps to think of them as caring for you and offering support. Many organisations I know don't check in at all with their employees and I think it would be awful to feel forgotten.  Best wishes 

I worked for LA and from experience managers interpreted HR guidelines on keeping in touch differently.  A colleague off for 11 months with BC  had a weekly phone call from her manager and like you found it hugely stressful as who want to talk about their cancer, treatment etc every week.  There's not much to say.    I was off 5 months and my manager didn't ring me once.  That was so good.  I did ring him when I had treatment plan and sent my hubby in with my two sick notes - GP issued for 3 months at a time.  I would then email him when I had something to say like starting radiotherapy, if it goes well back x weeks after finishing etc,  A couple of colleagues I kept in touch with in work would also tell him how I was doing.  When I returned to work I told my Director how much I appreciated the light touch approach he said "noted" - we had good friendly working relationship.  If he'd rung me weekly I think I would have said something like " I appreciate the welfare checks but I find it  very stressful each week having to recount my cancer treatment journey.   Mentally this is having an effect in me so perhaps we could keep in touch via email with me ringing if I'm moving forward with my return to work".  If he refused this I would have involved my union as it must feel like harassment.  I remember 36 years ago the evening phone calls from family & friends asking how my mother was doing,  I so wanted to say "still dying".  She'd been given weeks.  Thank God for mobile phones & texts now.  

Put yourself first & speak up or get a family member to do it for you.  Good luck xx

Hi Mustard , I was off work for some time with acute and chronic stress, bordering on depression. This was while working for the NHS. Not related to my bc at all (though long term stress is, I fully believe, a possible kick-starter for a cancer, at least a possible contributor) They insisted  on regular meetings which naturally increased my stress problems since it was work related. A good friend actually said she knew when these meetings were approaching as she could tell by my demeanor. 

eventually work paid for counselling and the techniques I learnt have helped me in many other situations, but in discussing my work problems the counsellor actually advised I should never return to that post! 

so I was interested to read Grogg s experience, that softly softly approach could well have seen me return to work. Whether that would have been good or bad we’ll never know! 

My message is, don’t forget you are covered under the Equality Act, and please get some help to prevent your stress levels from damaging your mental health. Phone MacMillan (8-8) on 0808 808 0000 if you feel pressured, their advisers will help. 

Hugs xxx

moomy the public sector devise these awful procedures to say they are addressing sickness &  long term sickness without actually looking at job role in relation to sickness & reason for absence.  NHS, like public sector will have a lot of chronic bad backs as there are so many job roles that involve heavy lifting.     Plus a lot of jobs involve caring with vulnerable people & do you really want staff in contact with them if they have a nasty cold. 
When my daughter applied for job with public sector I told her to tick disabled box as she has a chronic mental health condition that means there are days/weeks when she struggles to work, especially when they adjust her meds.  Her manager very good and if sickness related to disability they don't count as sick days/hours.  There is a grey line though.  She's prone to severe ear infections, sometimes so bad she's been sent to hospital same day to be drained.  The ear infections get out of hand as the drops say keep ear dry but her OCD means she has to scrub her ears in shower and if she can't shower she can't get out of bed!  She also didn't leave the house for over 2 years or allow people in so her immune system is shot and now she'll go out she catching every bug going !  Technically I'd argue these are disability related but she's so afraid of excessive sickness she struggles through work if she can.  All in all she has great support but a different manager could treat her differently and do numerous welfare or safe guarding checks on her almost daily.  Her manager just randomly adds on to end of a work meeting - via teams as they WFH " everything ok" or " how you feeling".  Her manager also keen to tell her she's doing a great job often.  If she hadn't been she wouldn't be there almost 5 years later after being employed on temp. 12 month contract as they quite ruthless on ending temps if they feel they not a good fit for team.

I do think employers should be better at asking staff how they feel  about their absence procedures & if they feel they help or hinder recovery & return to work.