How to deal with people trying to help

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I’m struggling with my diagnosis, trying to take things one step at a time and stay positive. I have a circle of wonderful family and friends. But, I’ve a neighbour in particular (& some family) who suddenly want to  ‘be there for me’. I feel awful about it but they aren’t part of my life and this is such a difficult time for me. How do I say thank you for your concern but I don’t want to go for a walk, chat, hear how you support your friends with cancer. I have always put others first and I don’t want to hurt or offend them. 

  • Hi, I’ve just read your profile, and I’m really sorry that you have been through a heck of a lot already. I have a feeling that you will get various replies to this one. My own view is that you set your own boundaries, without being rude or cutting potential help off completely. The reason why I say this is because in my final cycle of chemo, I was quite poorly and I did need a neighbours help a couple of times. It crept up unexpectedly and I was glad that I initially said something like - ‘that is so kind of you, but I am really lucky to have enough support at the moment. However, if things get worse, and I need more support, then I would call you, because I know you are reliable’. 
    Im sure others will give other suggestions. Xx 

  • Thank you, I really appreciate your answer. You’re right I really don’t know what’s ahead of me and what help I might need. I’m also aware that people are just trying to be kind.

  • Hi, during chemo I am sure you'll want to be careful about your immune system, so this could be a reason to limit visitors and I'd hope people will understand this.  Just an idea that might give you a reason for politely posting back. Best wishes 

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