Ahem, is it possible to have good sex after a double mastectomy?!

Do it!! If nothing else, I think it reassures your partner that it isn't your fault or that it can't be spoken about without platitudes.l!!

I have had a double mastectomy and reconstruction with my back muscles. I lost my nipples and basically any sensation in my upper  front. 
I was terrified that the loss of my breasts would ruin my sex life forever. 
I suppose it depends on how important a role  your breasts used to play in your sex life. 
In our sex life they were everything. My husband loved them. I loved them. It turned him on to get a glimpse or feel a brush of a nipple. 
The sensation I had in my nipples was a huge part of sex and orgasm for me. 
So I had reason to be terrified. It is now 18months after my surgery. I have two very complicated reconstructions with implants and back muscles. I lost my nipples but kept the rest of my skin. 
I have no sensation in the upper part of my torso, apart from the thin strip between my breasts and a weird, vague, slightly painful sensation in a small patch of my left ome breast’s skin. This last one has been developing slowly over the past few months. I cannot bear touch there. As far as the rest goes, you could probably stick a knife in without me knowing. 
And, they don’t feel like breasts. They are very hard and immobile and people apologise when they bump into them. So I have stopped hugging because it is embarrassing. 
Here’s the good news - they look quite sensational under clothes. 
And my husband still wants to have sex with me. On occasion he still gets aroused when he sees me. He is a saint. He says he loves my new boobs and finds them sexy. I still cover them with my arms. 
 For him, it must have been a monumental change. 
For me it has been devastating. My initial response, after I had healed, was to want sex a  My husband took me on a dream holiday and having sex made me feel desirable and showed him that I had not changed that much. There was some crying but I did enjoy the sex. Looking back, I know that I was overcompensating. Sex was pretending that I was still me. 
And then I simply ran out of energy. 
The reality of the permanence of my new state started to sink in. 
I realised I could no longer have an orgasm. Sex does not work for me without breasts. Believe me I have tried. 
I still grieve for my loss. To think that I will never have the explosive feeling of physical joy again that my nipples gave me during sex, gives me a sharp physical pain. 
I feel like nothing more than a walking vagina. Nothing soft to touch or bury your face in. 
It is like I am offering a steak on a plate. No fries, no sauce, no salad, no wine.
I know these are harsh words. But for women like me (perhaps a small minority) the reality is a harsh one. 
But I have not completely given up. I think there will be more phases of adjustment for me. I am going to work at it. I am going to find ways to like my body again. I will learn to focus on other parts. I need time. 
And in the meantime, my husband somehow, god-knows-how, still finds me sexy. I think he has simply discovered my derrière :) 

So there is hope. 

Wow x thank you for your honesty x

I totally get it! My breasts were an exciting part of sex for me too and sad to know I will never have those feelings again. But I’m older than most being 57 now and feel quite sad for the younger women as it must be so much harder to adjust.

Hiya, I had my bilateral mastectomy in April 22 with no reconstruction, we were going to be put forward to it after recovery, unfortunately following a year of various treatment I found my chemo had metastasis to my lungs and brain lining. I’m on the first line (out of 3) palliative treatment and luckily I’m doing really well and thank god everyday. I’m 60, almost 61.

however our sex life is absolutely non existent since my surgery (well since diagnosis really), I just can’t bring myself to let my partner of 21 years even see my chest, I used to sleep naked but now wear a bra top. I miss that side of our relationship so much, he is brilliant and says it’s fine but I know deep down he misses it too.

ive bought nice underwear but still can’t bring myself to try while using it.

we talked about my worry of him being totally turn of by it and he can’t answer for sure f he would be which I completely understand.

i feel I’ve resigned myself to the fact that it’s not going to happen, just the thought of it scares me too much.

please don’t think you’ll be like this because we are all different and there are some positive replies to your post, sending lots of positive vibes your way xx

Thank you for your honesty. It's such a thing that no-one talks about and I think we should. 

I've just had a breast reduction and implant surgery leaving me with no nipple on my right and a much reduced breast on my left. I do look weird to me as a b cup.

We've had sex, and to be fair, good sex since I last posted on here. He's just been in hospital as I needed the dressings reapplied after just 5 days post surgery... and he was there with me. He's seen the reasonably gory results. 

I just asked him if can guarantee not being turned off by them. He's told me he can 100% guarantee. 

It maybe that he's the 1 in a hundred, but I suspect it is very much about how much we have lost along the way from our identity. 

I am looking forward to a healthy sex life with him and I very much hope everyone here regains what they want too. Through plastic surgery, or therapy or by getting to the point where you realise you are strong and sexy just for getting through all this shit that comes with cancer.

Keep talking about it. Sharing is so important! 

How are things going with you? Sorry I didn't respond quicker, I seem to have missed some notifications! 

The fatigue is such a killer for me, but every now and then I started to need an O again... it seems to be returning slowly!!