Ahem, is it possible to have good sex after a double mastectomy?!

Should say I'm not looking for details but just some reassurance. I feel like I'm grieving at the moment and I suspect I am catastrophising things!

Hi MurrayMint  welcome to the forum . I imagine first there is the healing process to undergo and see what feeling and sensation you have. A lot of women have body image issues after a mastectomy. Hopefully as part of  a loving relationship you should both be able to work through things together and find out how the new you feels.. it may not be easy to start with but love can usually conquer most things.  Best wishes and I hope things go well for you both. 

Thank you and that sounds sensible. I was hoping someone who had experienced it might answer, but I guess it is a very personal and emotional thing.

I’ve had lumpectomy only, but thanks for asking this important question. I’m interested in the answers. 

Sadly since my single our live life has gone down the swanny!  This is due to firstly the drains, (chest!!), then peripheral neuropathy in my fingers, then chemo drugs which had their side effects…I feel I am grieving the loss of our previously great sex life and have asked my husband on several occasions how he feels.  He says he’s not interested and we still cuddle in bed…I do mourn the loss..happy blooming new year! Haha!

Thank you so much for sharing for your honesty, I completely feel your anger too. It's s#it!! 

I cried my eyes out the whole way through sex last time, I was so emotional. I'd just had a single mammoplasty and been told about the mastectomy.

It's so f#cking annoying as I am not a passive women. I just read your response to my husband too. 

You have inspired me to use this anger at my diagnosis and particularly this part of it and get it discussed as part of this journey at every stage with medics. It's a natural part of life and our health FFS and screw giving it up!! I will not be made to feel ashamed about it either.

It's also going to be in part due to the cold turkey from HRT and coil along with worrying about the future impact of Tamoxifen. I mean no one has even asked about birth control. 

Love may conquer all, but I think it will be quicker and more successful ,if it's not hidden away and we're talking about it openly and not in some weird overly romantic idealistic way. I need to take this by the balls and not let it erode my confidence in bed or anywhere else!! We're still us right? Even after surgery, menopause and chemo/radio/hormone treatment!

I'm off to try a vibrator to see what's really going on down there with me!! 

Stay in touch and let me know how you are doing xxx

I've worked out my new year's resolution;-)y

(My husband reckons he down for it too!)

You are absolutely welcome!

Awful thing is, this has been a ‘forced’ change to our lives in SO many ways!! I don’t know if we’ll ever be the person we were ‘before C’ but we have to look forward and accept changes and find something positive in them! It’s guilt I feel that my libido has dropped enforcing that change on him - onwards and upwards! Use it or loose it as the saying goes!! Happy new blooming year!! (Laughing!)

Okay so are you joining in the lots of post surgery sex new year's resolution?!! Love Honey will be pleased!! 

We have changed physically in so many ways - you are right, but sex is not an area I'm willing to give up on. I'm pretty sure a decent orgasm is good for my mental health and probably my physical health too!  

We might get censored before too long, but I'll let you know how tonight goes!! #rude!! 

Well, we’ve brought an important ‘mental well-being’ subject to light so it can’t be wrong! May chat with my oncologist next meeting and whinge to him!! (Watch him die of embarrassments!) Laughing!