My mum has been told her breast cancer is now metastatic

Hi,

My mum was told last week that her breast cancer is now metastatic and has spread to her liver and bones following her initial breast cancer diagnosis in October last year when things had seemed quite hopeful to be treatable. She is only 66 and has been very strong and healthy all her life. 

Last Friday when the consultants told us, they said they would go down the route of treatment, (fulvestrant I believe) and that they wouldn’t be prescribing it if they didn’t think there was hope for it working. Sadly during this time my mum developed a chest infection and her calcium levels had become very high meaning she has grown very weak in a short space of time, so the first appointment for the new drug was postponed for a few days, but in that time a different consultant has now told us they won’t try treatment and that the option now will be palliative care. We are so confused and distraught by this change of heart after being given some hope just a few days prior. We understand that her cancer is aggressive, but I’m confused as to whether that is the reason she has gone down hill so quickly. 

1. My mum was admitted to hospital a few days ago to get her calcium levels down, and has now been transferred to a hospice (we are assured just for respite to try and get her strength back up now the calcium has been brought down as she hasn’t been able to eat properly for a week or so due to the side effects of the calcium and having the antibiotics for the infection). We are very hopeful that she’ll be able to come home soon, but having visited her I’m really concerned how quickly she seems to be deteriorating strength wise. Is this cancer related or something else? I’m just very confused, we are now concerned she may only have weeks to live but we had been under the impression it would be months or possibly even years with treatment, not even a week ago. Does anyone have any advice on what she could be experiencing now or how we can help make her feel stronger again or able to come home and feel happier? I don’t understand how she lost her strength so quickly, not even a week ago she was still doing the stairs and having baths, and now she’s struggling to even move from the hospital bed or stand, it just doesn’t seem right to me and I feel like I’m losing trust in the doctors because we’ve been told so many different things. I want to be prepared if it’s less time than they told us, but I really hope this isn’t what the loss of strength means. 

both my mum and my family were feeling so positive that she’d be with us longer and I feel so sad for her now we are being told that they won’t even try. It just feels all so wrong. 

Any advice would be very gratefully received, I’m desperate to help her.