Fear of recurrence

Hi Jax, sorry to hear you're in pain. I certainly didn't realise that treatment would leave me in pain at times nor did I realise that I'd be so scared of recurrence, that every niggle was bound to be cancer. It's very difficult to accept reassurance. A good GP will always listen to your fears and check out what needs to be checked. And no doubt you'll get  good advice here which will always come with love. 

Aw thanks I nearly deleted this post as was worried I had upset or triggered people as we are all struggling!

So thank you very much for reply xxx

we all have this worry i think hugs

need to try to remain optimistic, not always easy but i try

Yes you’re right!

 It’s difficult and your anxious mind can play tricks.

 I’ve been practicing relaxation and also listening to a podcast for sleep every evening which definitely helps.

Hello....Please don't feel guilty about your anxiety. It is so normal. If someone tells me they don't worry and are getting on with their lives as before bc, I'm not sure how honest they are really being. I suspect very few people can actually do that. It's eight years since my diagnosis and I can't tell you how many times I have queried pains that have been explained as scar tissue healing. It has surprised me how long internal tissue takes to heal. I still get twinges in the middle of the night. In addition as the annual mammogram date approaches I have found my breast just aches.

That isn't to say I spend every moment worrying. I have a good life. We do lots of interesting things, go away when we can, entertain, eat out.....all the ' normal and enjoyable' things we always did....it's just there are times when the twinges make you question.

I hope your treatment continues well. I suspect that sadly you will have times of concern but the important thing is that the cancer was removed with the mastectomy.  In a few months you too will start to feel much better about yourself and your future. Take care.

Thank you so much.

 It’s like I daren’t allow myself to be hopeful! Like I’m tempting fate which I know sounds silly.

X

Ah the annual mammogram.  I have my first one after treatment soon, great timing 2 days after Christmas.  I’m bricking it!  Dreading the squish on my poor swollen boob and then the faff about to get results in time before my oncology appointment end of January.  How do they differentiate between scar tissue, oedema and anything suspicious?  I can feel my anxiety levels rising already.

Mine is Dec 8th. The only plus is that I live in a place where I am given the results immediately.....last year a 4 minute wait....and I take home the scans with me for future comparisons. 

I am sure all will be well with yours but I wish I could tell you that you won't worry a little between now and the result. The fact is that almost everyone posting on these threads knows exactly the feeling.......and can empathise....

Thanks for your reply.  Hope all goes well with your appointment.  That’s great that you get immediate results, I think the wait for results is the worst bit, facts I can deal with, uncertainty not.  I’m being treated in Spain and it’s all very disjointed.  Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised, my fingers crossed.  I’ll just pop a couple of paracetamols on the day and hope for the best.  

I am still undergoing adjuvant chemotherapy, but am coming to realise that learning to live with the fear of recurrence is one of the key challenges for everyone who has developed cancer. I see it as being key to being able to live life to the full, whatever happens or however long that life is.

I certainly haven’t worked out how to achieve this, but am going to gain as many tips as I can. I am considering hypnotherapy in the future, or CBT, or anything which may help me to live alongside the inevitable worry.

the fear can be very consuming can’t it x