Tears....

Sorry you are in this boat, it’s a real rollercoaster.  McMillan have a helpline if you need to talk to someone, that may help? Lots of support on this forum too x

Hi

yes it’s a rollercoaster alright , one day your fine the next your dying (in your head) when you know plan of treatment you except what needs to be done. I still have down days 6 mths done the line and I think that’s normal .There is loads of support on here from fellow warriors .

sending you a hug keep strong you can do this !! Xx

Hello DMM,

 Sending hugs to you. I’m so sorry to hear that you have been crying and is feeling lonely. Normal is different to different people. like you I consider myself strong. When I was diagnosed with BC, I did not cry, instead I asked what would be the next steps. Yet I did cry when I got home when it hit me and a couple more times when I had to tell my head teacher and close friend. I think I pity myself and for realising that from then on my “normal “ would change. But crying is not a sign of weakness my friend. It means that we have feelings and it is ok not to be okay at times. 
Having breast cancer is not easy. We have to deal with a huge responsibilities on top of our normal lives. It can be overwhelming at times. What once was easy can become challenging especially when one goes through chemotherapy and/or radiotherapy. It can be lonely when one keeps things to themselves. Please don’t ever cry or suffer in silence as you will find out, a lot of people do care about you and will readily be too happy to support and help you. Therefore we need to reach out to other people who we can trust. You are a strong person, well done for initiating the first step by posting here. This is the best place for you as many people here are very supportive. Remember MacMillan is also there as well as Maggie’s if there is one near you. 
I wish you well. Carry on being strong. 

yup you are normal, great big hugs.

i believe we have to grieve ourselves before this diagnosis, we are not the same people we were before this, but even so, try to remember you are still you, you still are an amazing person who lives life, has friends, family and things you like to do, and the world is not lost.

the world seems so far away when we are this sad, but its there and when you are ready it will bring you happiness again.

in the meantime, welcome to our badboob club, we are happy, yet sad to see you, and send you lots of support, you are not alone

i had a couple of meltdowns this week, but know it is hopefully a blip in our life

Hi djct, thank you for your kind words, and to everyone who has offered me help and support. I have a feeling there might be a few meltdowns, but it's good to know that it's normal so to speak! 

I have always found it strange that you can be surrounded by people yet still feel the loneliest, but now I understand. My heart goes out to everyone in this or worse situations. Forums like this are a godsend, and keeps me away from Google lol.

Take care and big hugs to all ️ xx

Glad we keep you away from Dr google. He's not the nicest. 

It's completely normal to have a cry and be upset. What you are going through is huge and being upset and angry is all part of it.

I had a meltdown on New year's Day this year when having chemo suddenly became this year instead of next year. And when I walked in for my first chemo session I burst into tears again. Nurse first question was your bricking it aren't you.! So don't be afraid or worried about the crying.

Take care xxx

Hi DMM, 

Cancer really is a lonely illness but at the same time it's good to know that there are others who know what it feels like. This bond of having been there is what is so helpful in this forum.  Nobody expects anything of you, no obligation to perform, no stiff upper lips.  I cry too but usually when I 'm alone. However, right now I am waiting for the results of yet another biopsy. First of all I was given an appointment on 25.9. which cracked me up completely because of the long wait. I broke down in front of the nurse who took it upon herself to fight for an earlier appointment for me. She managed to get me one in the early morning the very next day. So, still climbing the wall but at least I don't have to wait so long for the results. Just want to say that despair and helplessness accompany us all but sometimes empathy and support come unexpectedly when you let people see how you feel. Best wishes xx

It’s ok to cry.  I would say even good to cry.  Let those tears flow and then wipe them off and you’ll find your strength again to move on.  It is a lonely time I think because although people can offer love and support only we ourselves have to navigate our way through and manage each challenge along the way.  You are strong and can do it.  X

When your newly diagnosed it takes time to process this. It might happen over weeks or even months and when it does it can be really tough on us. I’m also a strong person I thought but this has turned me into a weeping willow a number of times now. Please expect to have the ‘wobbles’ as I call them as they are part of us processing such highly distressing and worrying information. I found I had most of my wobbles following diagnosis before treatment plans as given results or dates for procedures for example would change ie treatment plans so please take everything told to you with a pinch of salt and not set them in stone as I did initially as felt once I got my head around things and it would all change just found this just too much to take. As you move along in your treatment plan the Wobblies will likely lessen but still you will have bad days and just worry about everything and this is normal. Everyone here will have felt like you do at some point and can totally empathise with the way you are feeling. Your not alone here we are walking your journey with you. 

I have cried a lot since my diagnosis. You are not alone in that. It’s ok to be emotional and scared. Sending you a hug xx