Friendships

i would say yes, you need to step away, you need to focus on you and getting better, and trying to figure out her needs will only distract you.

i hope you have some friends who will step up and support you and if not, lots of people here will

Oh my goodness! Similar story, best friend for 35 yrs, and whilst I was going through chemo I asked her if she’d make me some cards (birthday/thank you, etc) as she loves arty stuff. I naturally stated that I would pay for all materials etc. (I was unable to get out to shops as I had sickness/diarrhoea for most of the time). She went cold for a couple of days. Text to ask if I’d offended her by asking..she said “if you don’t know what you’ve done then I’m not going to tell you!” Sent apology card (for what I don’t know) we haven’t now spoken in a yr!! I’m desperately hurt but accept that friendships possibly have a timescale. Move on if possible because I believe she can’t fit YOUR issues into her life. I wish you well xx

people can be strange, sorry that happened. 

Sad thing was she makes loads if home made cards to send to people! I've kept them all throughout the years! There's nawt as queer as folk! Thnx Djct x

Hi Susiesu, I’ve been through a similar thing with a sibling and a friend of 40 years. I was diagnosed with BC last October and not once has my sibling asked me how I’m doing, am I ok or do I need anything.

I think I know why she has been so distant, our Dad was taken seriously ill 2 years ago and she did not want him to go into a care home. As she is retired she decided to care for him herself and wanted me to share that care. I told her from the beginning that I couldn’t cope with that as I had to work. Anyway he got worse needing 24 hour care, I suggested getting carers in but she wouldn’t hear of it.

She has now moved in with my Dad and she now resents me. The only conversations we have is about Dad, she isn’t the least bit interested in my health.

My close friend of 40 years has phoned me twice in the last 8 months and said she would come and visit me but never has.

 It’s very hard losing a sister and a close friend, but I have to look after myself and that’s what you need to do. I have other friends who have been very supportive. 

Good luck with everything xx

I think whether we have an illness or not, friendships do need effort on both sides and sometimes it’s a struggle, Really good friends may not speak for ages then pick up where they left off.  Others need constant validation and resent you if you can’t give that.  Regarding siblings, maybe it’s different and because blood is thicker than water we would expect them to be there for us and vice versa. Life is indeed a tough gig but we need to put ourselves first to some degree and remove the negativity in our lives as we go through this. Best wishes ladies xxx