In the grand scheme of things, I know this really shouldn’t be high on my list of worries - but it is, and I’d be really grateful to hear from anyone who’s already navigated this themselves.
I’m half-way through chemo to treat stage one breast cancer. I know I’m incredibly lucky that it’s stage one with no spread. But it’s triple negative, and I have a gene mutation (PALB2) which makes my cancer very high risk of returning. A double mastectomy seems the only sensible thing to do… especially as I’m a single parent of two children who’ve just entered their teens.
Not sure if it’s because I’m turning 50 very soon, but I’m feeling that I’m doomed to being single now for the rest of my life (however long that is). Did anyone else here date, establish a new relationship and manage to not feel totally body-conscious after a double-mastectomy and reconstruction?
Perhaps it’s just a nerves or a down phase with my surgeon meeting approaching, but I’m feeling sorry for myself. Attempting to date as a single parent during a three-year pandemic was just rubbish… and now I have cancer, no hair, no eyebrows or lashes and soon to have no boobs of my own!
I should be grateful that my life can be saved, but I’m not sure I can envisage a dating life or sex life again after this. I just wish I had a lovely, kind husband who supported me through this and didn’t care what I looked like on the other side of treatment and surgery. Not the sort of shallow, selfish idiots I’d encountered on dating sites before cancer.
I’ve done a great job of single parenting for eight years, have good friends, good work life and plenty of interests. I’ve built an independent life and don’t need a man to ‘complete’ my existence. But cancer focuses the mind on how you would like your future - however long or short - to look. And I would like mine to include a partner.
Just that really.
