Half way through chemo and finding it so hard

Hi,

I can completely relate to where you are now.  I just finished chemotherapy 2 weeks ago.  I had 4 ec and 12 paclitaxel.  Like you at first I bounced back in between chemotherapy cycles and it sort of felt manageable.  Then the effects definitely became cumulative and it felt like there weren't really any 'good' days in between treatments.  Just constantly physically worn out to the point where going for a walk would be too much and knock me sideways for a couple of days.  The mental effects too are hard.  It feels very relentless when you are feeling so bad in the middle of it all and know you have treatments left to go.  I felt a little better mentally when I accepted that I wasn't capable of achieving anything with my day and was kind to myself and watched box sets on netflix and bought ready made or easy to prepare food.  I found that when I would set myself goals like going to shop or walking a certain distance, when I didn't achieve them I would feel really bad psychologically.  Giving myself a break from my own expectations helped a lot. Physically I think the same, everyone tells you walks and getting out and doing this or that will help (and for some it does) but personally I found those things too much at some points and that's okay.  Take long baths and be kind to yourself physically too.  I am coming up 3 weeks post my last treatment and am starting to turn a bit of a corner and feel a bit brighter so there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Take one day at a time and try not to think about all the treatments ahead if you can.  I have recently started accessing free counselling sessions through macmillan and have found that quite helpful, you can rgerr yourself online.  Might be worth a look at.  Best of luck with everything.

Hi LucyP

Thank you for replying it was so helpful reading, that there is light at the end  of the tunnel, I had been able to do dog walks through the other sessions , have just tried  just absolutely exhausted so rest now. Was thinking about the counseling once it's all over are you finding it useful 

Hi Sally 58

I agree with Lucy P.  We all respond differently to this, mently and physically.  I read about some women, lord knows how, but they manage to go to the gym every day through their chemo. I can barely get down the stairs, and spend a good few days not even trying to get out of bed. And that's just not like me. At all.  

Accept where you are and what your body needs. That is your job right now. Getting treatment and getting better. 

It's a long dark tunnel, but by god there is light at the end, so just keep plodding and you'll get there.And so will I.  

Thank you for replying yes I find it difficult not to just get on with it, and for now must lesson to my body for once, 

Yes we will get there, just seems a little difficult at times. Take care of yourself