My sister is refusing treatment

Hello,

What a frightening thing to have happened to your sister. She is no doubt terrified but she must talk to someone at the hospital about her situation. The reason I say this is because many breast cancers are sucessfully treated these days. For example large tumours can be shrunk with chemo and then removed frequently with a lumpectomy because they are much smaller. If not , a mastectomy will remove both the tumour and any cells. The job of the lymph node is to catch the cancer cells. Just because it's in the node, doesn't mean it's spread elsewhere. There are scans which can determine that and although she says she doesn't want them, I can't tell you how reassuring it is to know that the cancer is only in the breast etc. In the worse case scenario of a spread, doctors can concentrate the treatment in the right place. If she doesn't want to hear these results, she only has to say. Her wishes will be respected but ger treatment would be easier for the medical team if she had them done

I know so many people whose bc treatment has enabled them to return to a positive future. I hope that once the shock wears off, she will be able to come to terms with her situation and fight it. 

It is seven years since my cancer was removed. Today I had another clear mammogram.  There were ladies who were diagnosed when I was who bravely refused treatment and followed alternatives but they have died and I am alive. At least if your sister discusses the suggested plans with her doctors, she will give herself the best chance. And as for support.....a site like this will support all through treatment. She can chat directly to others in a similar position or ask questions of those who have experience of treatment and recovery. There are threads where she can cry and will find an understanding ear and places where she can laugh because there will be times when it's good to laugh.

She is lucky to have your support. Your challenge now is to direct her to the right advice whilst respecting her own wishes and not nagging. Not an easy task for you but one which is I feel essential to ensure she doesn't simply give up hope.

There is a friends and family thread which you may find helpful too.

Take care and ask again if you need support.

I am sorry you are in this position but you have to respect her decision if she has the full picture . All I can say is I'm similarly with a 10cm lump that is also in my nodes. My attitude is not "why me" it's "try me".  I have had my 1st chemo and it was not a walk in the park but its better than the alternative. Please get Her to chat with the mcmillan nurses or the local maggies centre. They've seen it all and will answer even the daft ish questions. They also support families whilst this nightmare goes on. Xxx

Hi, sorry also but tell your sister to have scans etc it's all ok your looked after so much ,I have had chemo first three made me tired, then I had 10 lots of weekly chemo which was ok too,just had 15 radiotherapy and not bad at all , Wish you well xx

Oh my goodness!  My sister and I both discovered this year that we have BC but MY SISTER too has refused all treatment, in fact she walked out of hospital just before she was due to speak to oncologist. I had mastectomy, (was GLAD to get rid of the offending article), followed by rubbish chemo, then radiation BUT on Wednesday I was told that there was “more evidence than not, that it had gone”!! Please let her see our messages. I am Stage 3 and really thought it was done but the FABULOUS NHS have given me a new lease of life! More than happy to engage with your sister xxx (FYI, mine was discovered in Jan 2022 and Dec 2022 I’ve been given good news!) Just a year..not a long time in the great scheme of things. I wish you ALL the best xxxx

Hello everyone . My sister is constantly looking for alternative therapies to run away from chemo. She has a lunatic partner that couldnt care less about her but insists on advising her to "go natural" ... She has stage 2 Breast cancer spread to 2 linphnodes. Shes starting chemo this month hopefully but has changed her mind 500 times about wheather she will do it or not... She often says she will stop it middle way and try to cure it with meditation and herbs... Shes loosing her mind and needs guidance. She has a terrible friend too that will say "yes" to anything she comes up with just to "be supportive" . Im the only one that is insisting for her to follow the doctors advise and she is pushing me away for that , further and further away each day.... She doesnt allow me to go in her house anymore and foesnt talk to me much now. She says i "stress her out"when all i do is try to make her see the doctors know best for her and chemo is indeed the best option she has. Im a nurse so i read a ton of cientific articles to try to prove her statistically she is in good hands doing what the doctors suggested her but she is too scared of chemo being "an evil poison that will destroy her inside" like her idiotic partner promisses. Can someone please her me put some sense into her ? She has very bad people around her that only give her bad advise and im afraid she will die if She doesnt go trough with the recomended treatments. can someone help me on this please ? Thank u so much