Not coping today

Think of it as a bereavement.  You've lost the security of your pre cancer life.  Recovery is not a sprint, it's a marathon.  You don't have to put on a front to family &  friends that you are ok.  It's ok to tell them you are anxious and struggling.  Just take it day by day.  We are always here to listen xx

I agree with Grogg.  It’s a grieving process..our lives are turned upside down initially and now it’s hard to accept that it’s good news. We’re all so different when it comes to coping but I keep occupied by walking, visiting friends, sorting out clothes, household stuff, etc anything to keep the brain from thinking. I wish you well xx

Hopefully as time passes you’ll get less days of feeling down and more of trying to be positive. It’s hard no matter the diagnosis but I find people think if it’s small , caught early and prognosis good then you should get “over it “ quickly. I think it’s only people who’ve been told they’ve got cancer really understand x

Thank you. I've been very honest with people today and managed to have a bit of a laugh about the extremity of my feelings. I know I will get to a new normal. It's this in between stage that is the hardest. There is a lot to grieve, something I'll be pondering over as my head clears a wee bit xxx

Hi, It really is a challenge and I have found the article by Dr Peter Harvey Consultant Psychologist very helpful. He speaks of the 3 stages of recovery as recuperation, convalescence and rehabilitation. Worth Googling it.  I have booked myself into a "Moving On" session with Breast Cancer Now as well.  Today I am not having a good day.  However, will keep myself occupied as best I can.  Good luck and know others feel as you do.

Sorry to hear that. I feel your pain. Literally.  I'm sitting here reading your message and crying. I'm scared too. Hope you went for your meal. Most days I'm okay but it seems at night I'm thinking too much.  Take care of yourself. It's good to cry and sometimes scream 

Oh isn’t the mind a destructive influence!! I remember a friend who suffers depression saying how in spite of everything you try to do, the thoughts keep coming and take over.  It’s a balancing act and taking back control is essential. CBT is good as is mindfulness and colouring books which allow you to be immersed in what you’re doing. Another tip is listening to radio stations like Allan Beswick late night talk show …they have all sorts of subjects and phone ins..quite enlightening!

Hi lux_lu

You are being so tough on yourself!! I was exactly the same. Dcis no chemo/radio/hormone treatment but a double mastectomy. I kind of feel like a fraud, like I’m making a big deal of nothing. I had some counselling to help with this and it really helped to have a stranger validate my feelings. 

As for your swollen gland there’s been so much going around this year. This is the first year that no one is really wearing masks anymore and I know my house has had bug after bug ( I have a 5 year old and an 8 month old so expected).

I find trying to be as normal as possible gets me through but don’t get me wrong, if I need to cry I cry. If I’m having a down day and want to stay in bed I do. Look after yourself and please be kind to yourself. The mind is it’s own worst enemy.

Helen

@GeriB How are you getting on? I've felt a little better today. My GP put me on Sertraline and I'm relieved. Hopefully it will help me cope more than I have been. Some days are so much harder than others though. 

It's so strange isn't it. That feeling of being a fraud just because of a definition. One of my friends had it worse, and I felt almost guilty. It makes no sense. 

I'm starting to think that my jaw/neck pain might be dental. I'm going to try and get an appointment as it's so sore. Stupidly enough I'm now scared of going to the dentist because my medical appointments have all been so scary lately. 

I see my counsellor on monday too. At least I can tell her how I'm feeling and feel safe for a while