I have had the oddest day!
I am over 4 years post diagnosis and doing well!
Went to get some highlights put in my hair for the first time after everything, I turn up happy, looking forward to a bit of a treat. When the hairdresser asked me what I was looking for I just said same as before….ie last time I was done over 4 years ago! They didn’t have those records….I was completely floored! She brought out the swatch book and I just burst into tears! I just wanted what I had before…I just wanted the old ‘me’. We picked colours and as she went to sort out…I just couldn’t stop crying….I mean really crying! Some would say sobbing!!
I pulled myself together for the rest of the appointment - hair looks lovely but different to before - cried all the way home!
I burst into tears at Waitrose later too! Couldn’t find wallet!
I have now tried to get my head around it all. I think I was so positive that I would come out just looking like the old me…the thought of actually making a decision about how that looked was just too much. I will never be the old me…for a start my gorgeous, now highlighted, hair is curly!
It was a trigger I just didn’t expect….I have been on the verge of tears all day. Maybe my Zometa infusion next week and appointment with oncologist later this month was just hovering in the background.
Everytime you think you’ve moved on…
Thanks for letting me share my rant….tomorrow will be better…x
