SO DOWN

Oh Jo, you expecting too much of yourself.  You need to allow the grief to be there.  You don't need to fight it constantly and try to pretend everything is ok and getting back to normal.  Your life isn't pointless you have just undergone a huge change.  You may find it beneficial to join a bereavement group to realise your feelings are normal.  Just like you grieved your pre cancer life you need to grieve your married life.  The loss of familiarity, routine etc as hard to deal with as the loss of a person.  How old are your grand daughters, can you tell them you feel sad by saying some like "thank you for sharing my holiday.  I still feel so sad and lonely with granddad, I really miss him".  This will hopefully give them a chance to say how they feel and you could perhaps share memories, funny stories etc about him.  Xx

Hi jo…. I’m so sorry you feel like this. I don’t have the answers but I think grogg is right….. you should may feel a benefit from a bereavement group and meet others who are going through the same thing. Loneliness is a terrible feeling but it does get better. 
sending hugs. Xx

Thank you. Trying to sell my house asap too, to be closer to family and friends. We moved house (Graham's dream), just over 12 months ago to just outside Shrewsbury. I now just feel isolated where I am, afraid to choose a house/location on my own. Life's just soo tough atm. Really not liking it at all. Booked to go away again in 2 weeks with my Sister/brother in law. Trying to give myself things to look forward to, but not enjoying much without Graham here to share things with me 

Find a C group in your area. It helps to be with like minded people. XxxX