Help please

Hi Terrified, I understand where you are coming from (I see the oncologist today & am dreading it!) It may be a good idea to go to your gp and check out about getting anti anxiety medication in the short term until you can get some counselling to help you deal with it all(I am going to do this too) It is a really difficult time! I hope you managed to get some sleep!

Bless you for answering. I'm still awake, feel dreadful. I'm going to a support group this morning to see the clinical hypnotherapist again, and going to ask about counselling.

I'm so so trying to remain positive throughout this and was doing great after my op five weeks ago, but since meeting with the oncologist last Thursday my anxiety is awful.

I hope everything goes ok for you today xx

I'm sorry you have been awake on your own. I was awake too but recharging my batteries in another room, I didn't look. Tonight if you need help, try the Awake thread. At night if we're up, it's often our first place to check.

I know you are having a very worrying time. Unfortunately almost everyone has to wait for results so the right plans can be made for our individual cancers. I know that doesn't make the ' scary thoughts' any easier but it does mean we get the right treatment once it starts.

Don't worry about the CT scan. Where I live it was a TEP scan but it's the same principle. It will show if you have  cancer elsewhere but it most cases it shows you don't.  That is so reassuring. And if by chance it has spread....then again, giving doctor's accurate knowledge means treatment can be directed in the right place. The quicker the treatment, the more successful the outcome.

I had my own cancer in 2015. Treatment wasn't always pleasant but my last mammogram was still clear. Many, many people recover from BC these days. Sadly, we often hear of those who for whatever reason( often a later diagnosis ) don't but you don't tend to hear about people who have recovered and are getting on with living.

I hope the scan goes well. Don't forget to try Awake. Hopefully you will sleep a bit today. Take care. I'll look sooner tomorrow. 

Love Karen

Thank you for replying too, I'm still not good, barely slept at all. I'll definitely look at the AWAKE thread in future though, I'd noticed it but wasn't sure if it was 'active'. 

The waiting is crippling me at the moment, but the CT scan results are what's driving my severe anxiety. I've 'multiple' nodes affected. And so so scared it's spread elsewhere.

Hopefully I can catch up with some sleep during the day, thank you again, I really appreciate you being there xx

I think the CT scan is routine before chemo as they want to get the full picture so that they can give you the right treatment. 

Finding out I needed a CT scan to check for spread was terrifying and the 2 week wait for results was the worst 2 weeks of my life. There is not much you can do but wait. My husband and I had some pretty serious conversations during that time. 

When I got my results, it was amazing to hear no spread and I had to stop the oncologist to text my husband (he wasn't allowed in as it was during covid). He was going mad pacing in the car park.

It is a really scary time but try and hold on to the thought that everyone gets the CT scan before chemo.

Hope you can try and rationalise your anxiety now the day is here, everything is always worse at night.

It is the most terrifying time of the whole process, you are not alone in feeling like that. 

Thank you for the reassurances. I've never hoped and prayed so hard in all of my life. I was doing really well up to seeing the oncologist, and have been so much worse since then.

And yes, night time is horrendous. Thank heavens for groups like this! I'm so pleased to hear you received good news xx

hello I too had nodes involved and I too was convinced the cancer had escaped and set up camp throughout  my body and I have never known anxiety like it. After my scan and at the onco appt he had the scan up on his computer and all I saw was white splodges and I said that's all cancer isn't it? 

when he said no evidence of disease and the splodges were my organs and they were fine I just looked at him in disbelief.  this is what anxiety can do, lead you down very dark alleys. 

you have to dig deep and trust the professionals , you can't change anything now and you will know what's what soon and you can start the next stage.

personally I coped with chemo 5 months of it,  pretty well, amazing husband sleeping in car whilst I had it. radiotherapy I didn't love but have only just finished it.  you are stronger than you think you are and like all the amazing users on here have said, you will get through it and on the other side you can be helping and guiding others who are feeling the way you are now. thinking of you and update us won't you xxxx

Thank you hev999, this group is amazing and I'm so appreciative of the support I'm receiving. The anxiety is awful, I've never felt anything like it. I'm trying to keep healthy but I'm struggling to eat, really having to force food into me but determined to do it because we need to be healthy.

Thank you so much, you've really helped, and yes, I'll keep you updated. Thank you for being there xx