Feeling incredibly low and scared

Sending a big hug Dolly DImple.

I am sorry that you are feeling so rough and am not suprised that you are feeling thoroughly fed up and desperate to feel you again. You can't blame yourself for your cancer and its treatment. You are on a ride that you wouldn't have chosen for yourself. It is all an investment in getting a cure for your cancer for yourself and your precious family. I imagine your family are just concerned for you and willing you to get over your infection. You will get better from your infection and you will be able to get through your chemo once you are well enough to have it. It is overwhelming at times and that is completely reasonable.

For me, the 3rd one was tougher as I noticed the cumulative effects on that one. Is the next one your last EC? I found the jump between EC3 and EC4 not that noticeable and hope you will find the same.

Hoping your cold passes really soon and that your spirits lift xxx

Hi Dollydimple,

i’m so sorry you are feeling so down and unwell, a chest infection is all you need whilst going through the trauma of chemo . It’s difficult when you have little ones as they tend to pick up everything that’s going and and pass it on to everyone else in the household.

It might be a good idea to call the advice line just to get some reassurance and put your mind at ease . 
I also found I got really down from round 3 to 6 of chemo, was so fed up of feeling ill  and weak all the time . I don’t have young children at home , mine are grown so I can only imagine how difficult it is to be looking after children at a time when you feel so Bad from chemo, and now an infection to deal with.

you aren’t alone in feeling scared , we all have our dark moments, I have far more than I like to admit  and you shouldn’t blame yourself or feel guilty. 
You did nothing wrong and your family love you and just want you well. 
Hang in there , I know it’s hard , so many times I nearly gave up as the chemo affected me so bad mentally and physically , but I completed my my last infusion 2 weeks ago and I’m glad I didn’t give up. 
I do hope you will soon be on the mend , sending you big hugs and lots of love . 

• Hi dolly dimples sending giant hugs sounds like your going through the ringer at mo being ill on top of chemo is no fun a break sounds like a good idea to let your body heal please don't blame your self though nothing you have done has caused this we are just all unfortunate that our body's decided not to play ball and put is on this journey some of us were super healthy exercises every day ( not me I hasten to add ) didn't drink or smoke and some of us liked the odd bit of junk food glass of wine and to curl up in front of the TV we did not choose this and I'm sure your family no matter how they are affected just want you well xxxD

Hello Dollydimple, like everyone says this is such a tough ride that seems never ending.  I too feel a burden on my husband who takes over the basic chores when I’m feeling physically low.  We all know how it feels, how cruel it is and how long it seems we have to endure this. Always speak to macmillan if you want a quick, reassuring phone call. Don’t obsess about too much but make a list and speak to the staff. Big hugs xx

Sorry you are having a tough time of it. I know it’s a cliche but you can only take it one day at a time. They won’t give you the next round of chemo until your bloods are right so focus on getting over your infection and let them decide whether and when you are healthy enough to have the next dose, Of course it’s not your fault you are going through this and I am sure your family don’t feel that way either. 

Thank you all very much , I appreciate you all taking the time to reply x

Yes the next EC should be 4th and last  

Your words of reassurance and support have really picked me up 

Thanks again 

love L xx

Hi. Totally get it. Started with chest infection 2 weeks ago. Had antibiotics plus steroids since before 4th chemo on 18th May. Been feeling desperately poorly, had many phone calls to helpline, more antibiotics etc. Bloods were very low. Glad to say, picking up now, however still coughing a lot!! Hoping I can have a good week next week before 5th cycle plus Herceptin. 

We can get through this. Come on!! Jo x

Oh sweetheart I'm sorry you are feeling rubbish I've just had my 2nd dose of EC, i see why it's called the red devil!! Try not to feel guilty you are going through hell, your family love you and are probably hating seeing you suffer so much, just do the best you can, chemo is hard enough  without unrelated illness on top, hope you start feeling a little better soon, much love xxx

Totally agree, I'm only 2 doses in on Dose dense Chemo and I'm already sick of it, the only symptoms i had with the cancer was exhaustion and pain sometimes, both of which i could handle, I'm usually up at 5am the week after chemo and this is my worst time, no one else is up until 7.30 and they're going off to work so it's another day alone (not working through chemo as the brain fog leaves me confused and with very poor concentration) so sorry to highjack the original post xxx

Fig1972 - halfway through the EC now so on the countdown on those - hang in there, you are doing so well, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. I found paclitaxel much better than EC and that horrid brain fog lifted a lot with the change of chemo. The early waking is quite something - I think it must be the steroids as I was awake at odd times of day and sleeping whenever I had to. I used to find going for an early morning walk and watching the sun rise somehow helped pass the time and make me feel better and a bit less tired (my chemo was during the winter months).  I still love the tranquility of a quiet morning walk now too and the way that it gives the day a bit of structure helps me on my way. Walks on chemo always lifted my spirits a bit and even though I was often back in bed in the morning or by lunchtime for a sleep I was glad to have been out. Do you have enough energy for that or has the chemo just worn you out too much? Am so sorry you are struggling fig1972 and hope you find the change of chemo in a month's time will be easier for you.