Do I request a mastectomy

I would. Not necessarily for medical reasons as every case is different and they would not use WLEs if these were unsafe, but for peace of mind, which is just as important. I wouldn't want you to have the additional worry now on top of everything else, and especially as you wanted a mastectomy right from the start, plus the close margins and the actual size of the tumour.

Another thing I would look into is the possibility of genetic testing. You may be offered that anyway due to the family history, but if they don't, you can ask about it.

Yes, that’s my thoughts exactly. The surgeon was adamant he would get a really good clear margin, but that hasn’t been the case. I also don’t understand how the size is so different from the initial mammogram, I would understand a few extra mm but 4 times bigger near enough, to me that’s a lot!!!

I just know I won’t settle, and will constantly be worrying. With it all happening so close to me losing my sister, it’s all I can think about. If I don’t make the right decision now, and I find myself in the futowith it returning and with the same sort of diagnosis there is no going back with that.

apparently they say mine is not a hereditary cancer, they have done no blood tests that I know of, they said it’s just purely bad luck

Jewdrop said:

apparently they say mine is not a hereditary cancer, they have done no blood tests that I know of, they said it’s just purely bad luck

I'd like to know what they are basing this on. Here is some information from the NHS regarding genetic testing, in case you want to look into it further. 

I would be interested to know how it goes when you request the mastectomy. If the surgeon objects, I would talk to the nurse, point out the false promise you were given about clear margins which was the basis for you relenting and allowing the surgeon's preference over yours to start with, and then request to be referred to a different surgeon.

There are steps you can take if this too fails, but that is still a bridge too far.

I don't like the way they have been down-playing the loss of your sister, both when it came to your surgery choice, and with the genetic testing. I really do want to know how they know that your cancer is not hereditary, as at the moment I am not aware of any type of breast cancer that can be excluded without doing the genetic tests.