High grade DCIS in breast and at least one lymph node confirmed on Friday.
Havent told my kids, havent told most of my family or friends, havent told my work. My work, that I love, that I will have to give up.
Have come away with my kids to visit extended family who I love dearly. A trip that was booked in before I noticed my inverted nipple. The inverted nipple that made me get checked out and lead me to this diagnosis.
My kids were so excited for the trip. Theyve talked about it for weeks. I couldnt not take this break. For them. But its ended up being for me.
We're having a ball. Im enjoying every last second of playing with the kids, talking and laughing with my family, being just me. No cancer. No impending chemo. No tests to find out how far its spread. Just me, mine and the life I love.
It feels so bitter sweet
Dearest JessicaRabbit,
I am sorry you find yourself here, the place none of us wanted to come to.... however, you will see once your have a treatment plan life can and will carry on - yes in a different way, as you know you will never be the person you was before hearing those words. For now you are stepping onto a roller-coaster of a ride - a ride you didn't want a ticket for.... but, was you move along you will come out the other side a much stronger person - you will get through this.
I am 4 years thereabouts down the line (this has flown by) and my dear mom and my friends 'still don't know about it' - why should they, maybe for me it was denial or just that I didn't want to be asked every 5 minutes how I am, mind you the family that do know about it don't even ask me how I am - so I do wonder why I even told them. I was very fortunate to have WLE/Lumpectomy and Radiotherapy (combined).
When I was at your side of this journey I felt my world had ended - yes the girl I was has gone.... the girl I have become is now looking at life differently, not bothering with the small stuff, I am a lot stronger in a lot of ways. I have changed how I think and what matters and what doesn't - as each day goes by you move further along the ride and slowly your life will come back.
You enjoy this holiday, let this be your holiday to recharge - when you get back you will have your tests and a plan of action worked out - get on with this and then you can work on getting you back by having another holiday.
You will get through this, you are at what is possibly the worst time mentally - you have now found this site and will have so much support from ladies and gents that between us have gone though so much - so any questions or worries you have 'ask away - there will be someone that can answer it for you'.
If you start to feel you can't sleep at nighttime (most of us have) there is a thread called AWAKE - its where most of us pop in and out day and night - chatting, asking random questions, you name it - it goes on in there.
I will tag the thread - just jump in you will be made most welcome - just sorry that you had to come here in the first place.
Sending big hugs xxx
