BLOKES WITH BREAST CANCER

Hi    I have recently joined this female dominated cancer world  I have had mastectomy followed by lymph node clearance joined optima trial so skipped chemo and went onto radiotherapy for 5 days and tamoxifen daily. Pain scale: Biopsy 8-10  Mastectomy 3-10  Lymph node clearance 3-10  Radiotherapy  1-10 This is a really hard cancer if you happen to be a gentleman sat in waiting rooms listening to woman talking about there treatments but it is the only way a male can find out the pitfalls of treatments and i would like to thank and apologize for listening in because without this there is nothing out there for males! We are told dont go on internet at clinics but how on earth can you find something or someone to talk to,i personally felt like i had been pushed of a cliff as i could not find a solution having contacted a charity and the internet is all about female led questions. I mentioned this to a consultant and his nurse came up trumps with a male support network at Breast Cancer Now , so any males looking for advise ,support look at this charity because there is nothing out there for males and when you find a post it is usually years old . Thank you  

  • Hi, 

    I remember that when I went for my first MRI, there was actually a man I there waiting to be seen.

    , I think I saw some men in general waiting room at breast clinic.

    Even as a women I've got to say when I was going to the breast clinic I had to sit their on my  own, no one was allowed in, I had to wave at my partner from the window. 

    I remember being told I had cancer - I was waiting extra 25 mins, just sat their , staring at my phone ,or the walls , going in by myself,then being told.

    It was not like the TV commercial where they break it to you slowly, they give you a cuppa, & you feel comforted.

    It was horrific.

    All it takes is one person to  change the world, so keep sharing, & hopefully you will find someone out their you can connect with.

  • It is a very lonely world been told the bad news then i had to drive home and tell the wife i remember waiting in an area having just been told and watching woman go in and then they too had to wait again outside before going back in and the lucky ones going straight out

  • My boyfriend was waiting outside, they had to call him in after I started shaking and crying, becoming hysterical, my partner heard me in the background, he knew it wasn't good news.

    It's not nice atal .

    I thought to myself if he could come in for that ,why could I not bring him in the first place , silly rules. 

    That must have been extremely horrific, what you went through.

  • Welcome. Like Northener, I have seen at least 1 if not 2 blokes on the site but not seen posts for a while.  It must have been awful for you. There is this assumption that it is only a female disease but I know a few men who've had it and recovered. If younread my profile, I was not directly told I had cancer and the way it was handled was rubbish. I'm just coping with swelling and achy boob now.  We are all experts of our own journey so ask away but know that you aren't on your own x

  • Glad you found us and hope you find the support you need.  We have had other men join who've been diagnosed with BC but they haven't hung around after treatment ends which is a shame as I'm guessing you would find it useful to connect with them.  

    Must have been such a shock getting the diagnosis as I don't think males expect it as women have breasts, men have chests (clearly not true but just the way people think)!  Then there's the issue about how BC units set up.  Mine is women all sitting there topless with just a short gown for modesty.  No friends/family allowed in.  Do feel uncomfortable in this environment or are you a just get on with it person.   How do people react to your diagnosis.  Many women find friends/family trivialise it think it helps you to hear positive things but most of us need time to accept diagnosis, deal with our fears for the future  or even terror of the treatment ahead.  This is a safe place  to voice any issues.  Male or female the big C is a big deal.  We are hear you listen or share xx


    Carol
  • Thank you, I have been popping on here since oct and found nothing and when i entered a dark place in dec felt totally let down,i then decided after all my treatments i would try to help at least one bloke

  • i would try to help at least one bloke

    Your local Maggie's and Macmillan would likely be glad to have you offer availability. It may be that another guy in the same situation but at an earlier point is in touch with them, who could benefit from talking to you.

    But, now that this thread exists, other guys can see it and post.

  • The search not the best on this site but here's a couple of men who may have notifications of replies turned on so you could get in touch with them

    https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/chat-breast-cancer/f/breast-cancer-forum/198365/mens-breast-cancer


    Carol
  • Hi. Another user sent me a link to your post. I have recently diagnosed with male breast cancer and know it is rare and was hoping to contact other men in the same situation 

  • HI I WAS BEGINNING TO THINK I WAS THE ONLY ONE. What stage are you at .i began this journey in oct21 and have just finished my treatment, please ask away any thing you want.......