Struggling with My mum having Cancer

1. Hi HH
2. I can imagine that your going through almost every emotion possible at the moment. 
3. I haven't had my lumpectomy yet but both my daughters are very supportive just like you are with your mum. 
4. They are positive as mine was caught early and stage 1. But you hide how scared you are and they are to. 
5. Talking to someone a close friend or maybe one of the macmillan counsellors. 
6. This is also a great source of support and advice. 
7. Wishing your mum and you all the best
8. Love M

Hi M

Thankyou for the reply, i really appreciate it. Its a very difficult time and i’m sorry you are experiencing this with your family. I’m glad you have the support from your daughters and they will help you through this!

my Mum was feeling very positive after her lumpectomy, a sense of ‘they have removed the cancer from my body’

i will be finding the support i need as its nice to get my feelings off my chest as i’m scared to pile all of it on my mum as i can’t even begin to imagine how she is feeling! 

i hope all goes well for you and your daughters 

sending lots of love and strength xxxx 

1. Hello lovely, sending you much love, my Mum is 82 and has had a mastectomy and 15 lymph nodes removed as the cancer was in all of them, her prognosis is not good but she is so positive and fighting every day, I'm also waiting on a diagnosis, it's a really scary time x

Hello, thankyou for replying to me during a difficult time, i really appreciate it! 
I’m so sorry to hear that, i really admire peoples strength as i feel so weak!

my Mum is 51 and i’m 29 and she is still worrying about me more than herself but i’m trying to stay strong! 

Sorry to hear this, i really hope you are ok! Waiting is the hardest part for me so i cannot imagine how you feel. You will get the strength from your Mum

sending you lots of love xxx

Yes same with my Mum, but her strength and courage give me something to aim for, it's still terrifying though xx

yes so terrifying! Sending you lots of love. You can do this xxxx  

• Hi Hhx

I’m a mum - this is how my daughter helps me.

I’ve got stage 3 triple negative I’ve been through 16 weeks of chemo & just had a lumpectomy. Im waiting the results from surgery and the next step radiotherapy & perhaps more chemo 

My daughter has been a great help to me and I couldn’t have gone through this without her. 
How she copes with it is amazing 

She’s encouraging - telling me I can do it , sending me a ‘you’re stronger than chemo card’    Always remindng me it won’t be forever. Talking about nice things we can do together when it’s all over. Giving me a hug when I’m down. 

She’s practical - suggesting things I might try to combat side affects - many of which were pregnancy related. Eat little & often. Etc  She sourced heart shaped breast cushions for after my op. She sold clothes I no longer like on Vinted. She lent me her cooling breast feeding pads.  

She is company for both me & my husband both together & separately.  

She gives the positive slant on things and tells me not to be so hard on myself  She always reminds me ‘what would you say to your friend if this was happening to them’ 

She is a contact for the wider family - many contact her for updates before contacting me. it means I’m not going over the same old things every time I have a hospital appointment etc. 

There are many more more things but I hope this helps you find your strength to support your mum. It’s the little things that mean the most. Your lives have changed but together you will get through this. 

Remember there is support for you , your friends, communities like this   Your already off to a great start posting this. Good luck to you both xx 

Helllo,

thankyou for taking your time to reply to my post, i really appreciate it!

these are really helpful points so thankyou! And i will take them on board and use them to get through this difficult time.

your daughter sounds amazing and i’m glad you have a supportive family to help you.

Thinking of you and your journey and hope all goes well for you.

thankyou again,

lots of love xxxxx 

Thank you lovely, just keep talking to your Mum, it's OK to tell her how you're feeling, you don't have to put a brave face on all the time. Sending you much love and strength xx

HelloWuze,

That is a very encouraging piece you have written and I do hope your daughter sees it and how much you have appreciated her help. Support from family when it is positive is so important for our continued well being. I was lucky too. In my case it was a son who being self employed took four months out to help my OH during my treatment. 

I hope your treatment continues successfully  but I also thought you would like to hear that I had my triple negative diagnosis in 2015. I only need an annual mammogram now and the last one in December 2021 was still clear.

....this is certainly the worst time ....the waiting. The job of the nodes is to collect and stop the spread of cancer cells. There have been many contributors on this site who are clear of cancer now but had some node involvement. It is still very treatable although a bit more treatment will be required and it won't always be pleasant. Your mum is going appreciate you support. Sometimes it will just be little things  like getting out clean pj's or a nice soap. Other times she may need you to be encouraging or even just to listen because she must be able to express how she really feels. If she uses wifi, she would probably find chatting on threads like Awake or if she has chemo, the monthly chemo thread herself. There is also a friends and family group here which you might find useful too.

I hope all goes well for mum. I know you will worry but remember bc treatments are some of the most successful. Of course the media publishes the sad stories of those whose situation was advanced but thousands of women live with an ' all clear'. 

Take care. Thinking of you both.