Bit of a shock today

FormerMember over 3 years ago

3 replies
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Hi lovely people

I was diagnosed in June . From finding lump after a gym class ( Thursday) to diagnosis (Friday next day )my life seems to belong to someone else. I am a senior nurses at one of London’s teaching hospital & so my lovely colleagues got me seen pretty dam quick. The oncologist saw me & said it was bog standard no lymph involved slow growing cancer not agressive but large with lots of satellite lumps. I had two biopsys MRI and it was agreed that I go to Cyprus to see my elderly parents & return for mastectomy & reconstruction with hormone therapy to follow. I was so relieved & was positive telling my big fat Greek family

I had my surgery 3 weeks ago and I had an implants in my both boob too to match them up but lost one nipple due to the multi centric nature of the cancer. Nipple to be created in the future hopefully

I was quietly relieved & optimistic but still in some pain from the surgery on both sides when I went to UCLH spanking new Macmillan cancer centre to see oncologist this morning
I was told that there was disease in my axillary node histology taken during my surgery

my treatment now includes :

-ANC removal surgery in

4 weeks

- chemo

- radiotherapy

- and this may mean lymphoedema & implant disruption

i cannot believe this is happening! I was prepared for the worst then reassured and now it’s all just crushed my spirits. Not sure my family esp my elderly parents can handle more bad news. I have 4 kids aged 32-24 and it’s been me keeping everything together as I dont like affecting them with my diagnosis they deserve to be young and carefree ,but more surgery & my arm being even more painful& stiff than it is just so upsetting

Plus chemo on top !!

I spent ten years as a nurse specialist for AIDS patients , I thought handle this better . Iv gone from a marathon runner to an utter sick note going from one hospital appt to another instead of working in hospital.

( silently screams!!!)

WallyDug over 3 years ago

hi Sagey

sorry yo be meeting you here in the club no one wants to join.

Yo are correct, you have had a bit of a shock today and based on my experience and that of others here, you are going to have to give yourself some time to come to terms with it all. Take things a day at a time for now and don't dwell on the worst possible outcomes. There are lots of us here who had positive nodes and who have been down a similar treatment route to that which you are on. I am still going through treatment and am glad to be getting it. I am sure that some of the other longer term survivors will be along before long.

The chemo and radiotherapy are quite doable nowadays and your BC support team will do everything they can to support you through. You will also find that this group will be a great help to you for venting, advice, hints and tips at getting through. Use it and there will always be someone along who has been through it all at whatever stage and survived to tell the tale.

I will share a comment from my children who are in their 30s: what we know about, we can deal with, so tell us how it is. If you don't tell us, we will be imagining things are much worse than they are!

You are still in shock as many of us have been. Talk it out with us here or with someone you trust if you have a suitable friend or a colleague. You might be surprised about those who will be there for you and become your stalwart supporters. I found that it was sometimes people whom you would not have expected.

I am sure that from the career you described, that you went above and beyond to help those you cared for. What goes around comes around. It will be difficult to become the patient yourself [you talk about handling it better], but I am sure that given time, difficult though it is you will adjust to the role reversal.

Wishing you all the best

WallyDug

Pusheen over 3 years ago

Hi sagey

Sorry about the news. Just to let you know I am 2 years post treatment, I too am a Specialist Nurse ( it really doesn't help at all). I coped by routines and countdowns and ticking treatments off, embracing everything we chucked at it ! And 19 lymph nodes affected ! I returned to work during rads and am slowly building myself up again. I have to say I am a different person now which sounds like a cliche, but you will cope and come through it.

Xxx

FormerMember over 3 years ago in reply to Pusheen

Thank you everyone .This is such a great place to be re assured

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Bit of a shock today