Up and down

Hi Dawnlou

Welcome to the club no one wants to join. The stage you are at is very scary. We have all been there waiting to know what we are dealing with.

When your team have all the results from your tests they will be able to come up with a customised plan tailored to your treatment needs. The waiting is difficult to bear and the mind does do overtime imagining all sorts. Try to keep busy with things which interest or distract you.

Use this forum to the max. You will find it a great source of information and support.

Have they told you when to expect the results?

Wishing you all the best

Wallydug

Hi they said that the HER2 results should come next week and the biopsy in about 2 weeks 

I was told two out of three nodes were cancerous they gave me two alternatives. Full clearance or radiotherapy. They advised that both procedures were even so I went fir the radiotherapy. I had a onco dx test that came back 17 so said chemo would not be necessary.  Keep your chin up. Your in the best care xx. 

Thank you so much for your reply xx

Hi ,I'm probably not much help but I have been diagnosed with breast cancer only 3 weeks ago and eveything has moved so fast since then.

I was expecting results to just be something not very sinister as I only went to GP for antibiotics to treat an abcess so everything else has been a massive shock.

Mine is 2.7cm,  grade 2 and it has spread to lymph nodes.

Was expecting op as thats what consultant said at 1st visit but now its chemo first,then operation, more chemo and possibly radiotherapy.

Have had bloods done and two not very nice scans and I see my oncologist for the 1st time next week to discuss things further.

People tell me the scans are a normal part of treatment as it gives the oncologist all of the information needed to treat my cancer but as my appointments were bought forward I am afraid my head began working overtime and started thinking that there was something more serious going on but I had not been told.

I have also been up and down since finding out. 

I can cry at nothing ,which isn't me.

I have thought of every possible scenario,even the scary ones.

Even planned funeral in my head.

I know I shouldnt and my consultant did say it was treatable but it hasnt helped I am an emotional wreck and struggling.

I told my family but they dont want to talk about it, not sure if they have even processed any of it ,so for the moment I am just plodding on and speaking with my BCN,my mum and people on here.

There are so many positive stories on here with people coming out the other side.

I'm just not in a place to believe that could be me too, maybe that comes in time and when treatment has started I'm not sure. 

One thiing I do know is there are plenty of people on here who are willing to offer support, words of wisdom and share their own experiences which sometimes in your darkest hour and when you are at your lowest really helps.

At the moment I dont have any positive pants just negative Nellie whispering in my ear. 

I'm hoping with time I too can be positive maybe this will be after I have spoken to my oncologist and hopefully he tells me it hasn't  spread to anywhere else.

Who knows, like I said at the beginning not sure I can offer any help as I am still at the same stage as you but maybe it will help knowing that here is soemone else who is having the same feelings as you.

Do you think we could even be reacting perfectly normally?

Hi , god it has been a whirlwind for you hasn’t it . I think from advice I’ve been given it is normal for our heads to go into overdrive at first and think the worst case scenario . I’ve been told the primary way they want to treat mine is surgery then therapy but obv that depends on results of other tests , I have been offered any scans but I think that  may just depend on hospital, who’s treating who and area live in and not because they feel more is going on but I don’t know on that . I am like you I try so hard to see the positive side and I know that breast cancer is so treatable these days but like you I struggle with seeing that being me . I suffer racing thoughts anyway and this has just sped them up but I have been working on living each day at a time and not to dwell on yesterday or tomorrow ( read a good book called power of now ) but will admit it’s gone out the window with this so need to get my head back into that zone again as if I keep thinking how I am I will fall apart .

I am so glad I’ve joined this group as have been given so many inspirational messages  and am sure once I calm down they will stick and I to will feel more positive but the waiting game for what happening  and what they are going to do is the hard part .

hope what I’ve written has made sense as I’m trying to get my thoughts typed out and I usually end up rambling  .

We are both at early stage and we are normal to have a wobble , I’m here if you need to chat at any time and hopefully we will both have a plan soon if what’s going to happen xx

Yes what you have written makes perfect sense. 

I have found somethings have happened very quickly and others take time but its the waiting that starts making your head question everything isnt it.

I keep being told its perfectly normal to feel how I do but its not normal for me to be emotional amd up and down if this is the new norm its going to take a lot of getting used to. 

Same here if you need a chant /vent I'm here