Just confirmed it’s to be a mastectomy next week.

Hi Bunty500, I have chosen to have a mastectomy straight off as I didn’t want to dilly and dally but like you I’ve found it a lot to take in. I was in bits yesterday and couldn’t understand why as I’m a strong woman and thought I could deal with it in a positive way BUT we are all human and have to grieve what we are about to loose. My mastectomy is not till 17th September so yours will be over and done with by that time. I have found everyone on here very kind, caring and positive. I just think we all have to be kind to ourselves whilst going through this process. 
sending you a very big caring hug and lots of luck for your operation ️

Hey, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way although I understand it. It’s a big deal to give up a part of your body that before now, has played a part in some of the most special times of your life. I also think it’s  natural to mourn, it’s a big change in your life.

I’m having a single mastectomy tomorrow and have spent most of the week so far, telling myself it’s done its job but it let me down a bit and now it needs to go so I can move on. Today though, I feel a bit numb, like it’s not quite real. Distracting myself with rubbish telly, a walk and packing/re-packing my bag.

Best wishes for your surgery, your recovery and for moving on when you’re ready xx

Hi Barb, Thank you for your reply. Like you, I thought I was also a strong rational woman and had reasoned out the practicalities etc. I’d been asking, because of my family history, if I shouldn’t have had a mastectomy the first time around but I didn’t feel that I was being heard, especially when I was booked in for a second lumpectomy. Finding just the week before my op, that I was speaking to someone who was actually listening, agreeing and booking me in for a mastectomy, rather came as a belated shock! I’m still 100% in favour but there’s still a little girl inside who suddenly went what the hell……….?

And yes, you’re right about grieving. That’s what it feels like. Seems to me that it’s grieving for something indefinable. It’s just nice to know I’m not alone. Good luck for your op too. X

Hi NBI, tomorrow…wow, it takes ages waiting then all of a sudden it comes round sooner than you think doesn’t it? I’ve been finding that reruns of Downton Abbey have been good at taking my mind off things recently, but they’ve just ended.

It’ll be me taking a sleeper then up at crack of, to get to hospital early on Tuesday. Hopefully when I’m the other side of it, I’ll be less of a menopausal grouch interspersed with emotional train wreck for the dearly beloved.

Wishing you all the best tomorrow and hope to hear from you on the bright side. Big hugs xxx

Hi

What you are feeling is perfectly understandable - my story is on my profile but I ended up with a mastectomy and immediate implant , replaced 2 1/2 years later with a DIep. I know reconstructions are not done as much at present given covid , but don’t rule it out until you have had your op. I was glad to be rid of mine (at the time) and so many people said that’s what they would want if they had breast cancer , a mastectomy , but they don’t/didn’t have breast cancer so couldn’t possibly understand - however for me , I did struggle with it , when I thought I wouldn’t , I was so positive (and still am) but it really got to me - so as someone has said , do grieve the loss of your breast , there is also a sexual side to breasts and I think this side of treatment is often overlooked … anyway I am now 5 years since diagnosis , 4 1/2 since my initial mastectomy and 20 months since my Diep reconstruction , and a couple of months since my full breast tattoo of a peony, which is the best thing I have ever done , and I don’t like tattoos! Won’t be having another one anytime soon though … 

Very best wishes to all you ladies having mastectomies , we all know it is for the right reasons but that doesn’t mean to say it won’t hurt us (mentally) 

Jo x

Hi Bunty 500 

It is so difficult for you at the moment . I had a mastectomy 18 months ago followed by chemo. I personally chose not to have a reconstruction. I’m 61 so age  I think maybe does make a difference ! But I don’t regret it - I put on my prosthesis every morning & it doesn’t feel any different. I have now got used to it - I know when I was going through these early stages I wanted to hear from those who had been through these stages so I hope this helps 

take care 

Ruth

Thanks Jo, No one has spoke to me about reconstruction, maybe because I’m just turned 70. I won’t put myself through more surgery…..but I certainly would’ve considered it if I was younger. But having accepted the aesthetics, I suppose that’s why I was surprised how it’s affected me emotionally.

I can absolutely understand why you’ve come back to the idea of reconstruction and I think your peony is a wonderful addition! Maybe a tattoo over the scar eventually……… That is definitely an idea..thank you Jo xx

Hi Ruth

Thank you for your kind words. Like you, I’m not going to look to reconstruction. A phrase from my grandma come back to me these days….at my age, she said, mine are more like labradors ears! I’ve lots quite a bit of weight and that phrase seems to have some bearing these days!