Confused, frightened and time seems to have stopped

Welcome to a place where you probably didn't want to be but firstly, I would say well done for joining as you won't be alone here. Virtually of course but I have met some wonderfully supportive people here despite us all at different stages of surgery, treatment etc. It can be a frightening place but you'll manage to plod along like the rest of us as for me it meant surgery, my cancer is gone but radiotherapy starts next week to make sure. Read my profile by clicking my name.

In these times with minimal people allowed in, I too had my exam, mammogram,  ultrasound and biopsy on my own. I had to return a week later for results and was not expecting what I was told (although the foreign European registrar had a lousy manner and kept referring to this lesion and did not mention the word cancer once). Unfortunately things do take time but in some ways this is good as it means they are discussing your case and putting a good plan into place.

You can't change your results and so try and focus on other things to keep your mind busy. Write any fears, questions etc down so they are out your head. The waiting game is not a nice game to play but we all get roped in anyway. Cancer is very treatable these days. Your emotions will be all over the place and thats OK too. Its a lot to take in. Perhaps take a pen and paper when you get your results so you can write stuff down. Tell who you feel you need to tell. some people will react well, others not but thats not your concern you need to do what you feel is right for you.

Feel free to post in here. We've all been in that position before and its not nice.focus on the good things for now. Thursday will soon be here and then you have a plan of action. Good luck and let us know how you get on x

Hi, so sorry about your diagnosis, but I can assure you, this website is great for support!  Your initial diagnosis sounds like mine, referred with a lump, ended up with mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy at the same appointment with an immediate “pretty sure this is cancer” at the same time.

I do have to warn you that the waiting, and there is a fair bit of it, is the worst. Once you have a full diagnosis (who knew there were so many variations of breast cancer) and a treatment plan, then it does, bizarrely, get easier.  And you will get through this, just like thousands do every day.  For me there were good and bad days, but generally all quite manageable once treatment started.

If you're interested, check out the blogs on the blog page (mine is One Life Live It) as these can be useful for seeing how people have coped.  And try to avoid Google, it's really not helpful.   Best of luck for this week x

Hi I know exactly how you are feeling.  You are going through the worst part of this whole process.  It sounds like you are about my age and are children are also about the same age - I was very grateful that were as old as they were and not young children.  

like you I did most of it alone for the same reasons as you.  To this day my side of the family don't know I had breast cancer.  My children I only told the night before surgery so that they would only worry for one day as the next day it was going to be removed and gone.

My cancer was grade 2 as well and was all removed during surgery January of this year.  After surgery I had radiotherapy and now I am on Tamoxifen for a couple of years as I am pre menopause and will probably switch to the post menopause tablets in two fish years.

Grade 2 isn't bad and hopefully it will all get removed during surgery and then you like me will be cancer free.

It's stressful I know but these days breast cancer is very treatable with very high success rates especially when caught early which yours like mine seems to have.

Keep yourself busy so you are not imagining worst case scenarios and DO NOT GOOGLE as the information is often outdated, the worst case scenarios because those are the ones that make 'interesting reading' or just plain wrong.

You will get through this.

If you need to talk keep posting on here and you can always message me and I will reply.  

Wishing you all the best with your results x

Hello Slidingdoors. Although your experience is different to mine I do know what the waiting is like just like others with more experience have said. It’s just awful. Even when you get good results it’s still awful waiting for your treatment plan. I do know from being in this forum that members are only to willing to help and support so you’re definitely in the right place. I’m sending virtual positive vibes and hope they work for you xx

Hi

I’m in a very similar place to you at the moment and thought it might help to let you know I know how you’re feeling right now.  Yesterday I too was diagnosed without the biopsy results and now waiting to see the surgeons….I have some moments of calmness and acceptance and then feel completely overwhelmed and panicky and thoughts are running wild which I’m sure yours are too.  I hope these feelings pass and we will both feel better when things start to happen.  I was really expecting it to be a cyst and didn’t go to the GP immediately because mine is a smooth lump and I had a few weeks when I wasn’t sure the GP would even  find it so probably delayed by about the same time as you.   It’s the waiting that’s so awful.

Good luck for Thursday.  I don’t have a date yet and it seems like a very very long weekend but I’m trying to take the positives which were ‘it’s very treatable’ and I’m sure that applies to you too x

Hi Slidingdoors and Wobbly1, so sorry to hear both your news, waiting test results for cancer is the most scary place to be, we have all been there so you are not alone, all the lovely ladies on here will understand how you feel and when you know your treatment plan the chances are that someone will have been on the same plan and be able to offer support, I had chemo, lumpectomy, radiotherapy and targeted therapy, some start with nthe op and then move onto chemo or radiotherapy, Thursday will come soon enough anf you will then start to find your path and all on here will try to help you both.  Lots of love Ann

Thank you Ann, sounds gruelling but hope you’re doing well now.  Joining has definitely made me feel less alone and is the best and one of the few things (apart from wallow) I’ve done all day x

Ty for taking the time and reading and then taking the time to reply.  I am hating the part where I am not in control in more ways than one.  I have an added issue where I was diagnosed with a rare heart condition November last year and have had one operation for that and am needing another, so my whole world seems to have fallen apart with this diagnosis as you can imagine. Baby steps.  I will have a read if your profile x

Aww sweetie it’s really hard isn’t it. I wish you the best and fingers crossed. What I didn’t add in my last post is I was diagnosed with a rare heart condition last year, I have had one operation and am having another so this is really the icing on the cake for me as I don’t know how the treatment is going to effect my heart or even if they can fully operate. It’s a bit more complicated for me and am going to have to have consults with my cardiologist as well.  In some ways it comforting to know I am not alone in my emotions and feelings, and it’s ok to feel like this, but it’s awful to go through.  Hope you get a date soon, please let me know when you do get it x

Thank you Ann, it’s so hard isn’t it.  Sounds like you have had a lot bless you, all I keep hearing is “treatment plan” so I am aiming for that.  Xx