Mums diagnosis - the start of the journey

Hello & welcome.  Love the phrase they use "lucky". No one diagnosed with cancer feels lucky.  The first few weeks while they do their tests, figure out best treatment plans are the worse as you just want to get on with it and rid your body of the cancer.   Once treatment starts, and they are usually pretty quick, you feel 'better" .  

Siblings.  Just tell them what you know to date and decide how you can all best help your mother.  Be it lifts to appointments, a supportive ear, take her out fir a few hours etc.  .  BC is very treatable and for majority prognosis is excellent  but don't trivialise your mothers diagnosis, she needs to be allowed to vent her fears.  I know it's hard but try to keep your feelings in check around her but you don't want her worrying about you and trying to make you feel better about her diagnosis.  

Affordability.  Are you not in UK or eligible for NHS treatment or is it your mother can't work?  Macmillan have a helpline you could call regarding accessing benefits if eligible,  

The word lucky is strange, like you say, you don’t feel lucky at all, particularly when treatment seems so aggressive. I suppose your right in that everyone feels better when doing something, rather than waiting for more tests etc. Everything I suppose seems to take forever the waiting etc.

Financially speaking I’m in the uk, which means we are lucky to have the nhs (that word again), but my mum rents her place and lives pay cheque to pay cheque. I don’t have the means to support her while she can’t work with the chemo and the best case scenario we were given yesterday was out of work for 7-9 months. Of course she gets sick pay, but not for that long. I’m thinking ahead and already anxious, I want her focused on getting well, not whether she can afford her rent. 

thank you for your kind reply, I find it difficult to know where to start!

Your mum is incredibly ‘lucky’ to have you and your support and care is the most important thing you can give her. Please do contact Macmillan as others have said, they can help financially. Also do contact DWP, I know they can be useless but they should help your mum

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/benefits-rules-change-to-help-people-with-cancer

All the best xx

Okay call Macmillan about finances - 

Contact us free* on 0808 239 75 65. We're open, 7 days a week, 8am-8pm.

call your mothers local council about housing benefit to help pay rent .  

Write your list of your mothers current income , what sick pay she gets or if it's only SSP before calling.

Speak with your siblings to see what they can afford to give each week to help out .  Doesn't have to be equal but even if only £5 a week it's a help.    Can you all prep one extra meal when you cooking for yourself !  These little things add up to help x

Thank you for your suggestions. We got a date today for the lymph node check, so once we know how long we are looking at for treatment, we will start working on finances. I will definitely call and have been looking at the suggestions above - thank you all!

my siblings are going to the appointment next week as I live 60 miles away with a 3 month old baby, and then I will be around for the results appointment. I like the idea about the meals and to be honest It’s not something I would have thought of so great tip, thank you! I will save up some take away containers and freeze some meals so I can take them down with me.

thank you for all your replies and suggestions!