My younger sister was told just after full lock down last year that her breast cancer was back but this time in her bones which makes it incurable. I just can't get my head around the fact she won't be here in a year or two. I am constantly overwhelmed with emotions and fear. My niece is only 7 and doesn't know what she is going to have to grow up without her mummy and I am very ashamed to say I am not coping at all. She is now living with every parents worst nightmare, my own worst nightmare, HER own worst nightmare. I cant sleep properly because I know my sister is terrified she passes away in her sleep and its her daughter who finds her. ( dad abandoned them when she was a baby and every night sleeps with mum. ) I don't know how I, we will get through this. This pain consumes me every minute of every day. But the guilt I feel is as heavy on my heart and soul cause I am not able to fix this fir them. And I feel I have no write to complain about how I am feeling. Sometimes at night when I can't sleep, I truly wish I could go before her to escape what lies ahead.
