Hes left me

Great news on the mammogram result, so sorry you’ve got to sell up though. However, if all goes well it will enable you to make a totally fresh start.

sending hugs xxx

Hi @Charlieandlola (tagging still doesn't work!!)

Firstly what a s**t.  Right now that's out of my system...I remember your history from previous posts and its all been said, very eloquently, above.  Just know you've got this, you are stronger than you think you can ever be and will look back on this episode as one of life's experiences that made you even more resilient to the challenges that life can and does throw at us.  You will be happier & healthier without this disgusting man, I promise!

It sounds like you're doing exactly what you should be doing...but do spend some time looking after you and being looked after by those who REALLY care for and love you, surround yourself with positivity, do what you need to for you, be selfish!

Good luck and glad the mammo results were fine.

Sam X

What a horrible person. It may seem devastating now but boy, do you not need this person in your life. Let your children stay and love their mum. Keep in touch on this forum and remember we are all for you. xxx

Such a rat and not sure if family set up but this is general advice which you may have sorted as been to bank:

• inform mortgage company so he cannot remortgage house 
• if you now only adult over 18 in house infirm council you'll get discount 
• if you gave children under 18 you do not have to sell up & move until youngest 18
• Inform utility companies - you do not want him taking out credit for your address
• Remove his name as next of kin if you have workplace pension
• if you have joint life insurance inform company and consider cancelling or if possible as cheaper change beneficiary 
• All joint bank accounts/credit cards  close
• If you know he has credit card but you don't tell the bank he dies my live with you in case he opened in your name put himself as second card holder etc.  People are devious 

remember you are a brave, beautiful lady who fell in love with wrong person.  Good women do this daily .  My friend just left her partner of 18 months  who turned violent and she is so mad at herself for uprooting her children and falling for an alcoholic bar steward!  Her inky crime like yours is falling in love,  These insecure men prey on good women !  

As it his childish, cruel comment about your mastectomy well at least you've got one good tit left!   He's got no balls !  

Hugs xx

I am so pleased to hear your good news on the mammogram front - this news is the best news you could here.  I so love your response '2 disease out of your life'.  

What a total arse, I can just imagine how he looked and smelled - already trying to make you 'want him' arrrrrgggh - no girl, your not going back - let him rot in his aftershave.  You be strong girl - look how far you have come - you have got thought one of the worse times of your life ..... without his help - you don't need him.

Just a thought about the children - are any of them under 18 or still in education - as I am sure there is something about you don't have to leave your home if you have children of this age?? I'm not sure if this is something that you would want ...... to be honest, from a 'keeping you head sane' - you are best just doing everything to cut all ties with the lazy arse - because believe me, I feel when he sees how strong you are and that your moving forward - I have a feeling he may try to worm his way back into your life.  And..... well now, you have all of us girls watching out for you 'we won't let you' - we won't!!!!! we'll all give you the courage and strength to get through this and hopefully you will see him for the true rat that he is  (I hate to even say rat - its not fair on rats). 

You can do this ..... Well Done again on your brilliant news - so pleased for you xxxx

Hello 

I'm so grateful for all the messages I've had. What amazing support.  I've had a difficult few days. Having to put the house on the market.  Hes acting his usual arrogant self. Hes not actually spoke to any of our friends about it but they are all pretty disgusted with him. I'm getting lots of evidence together from my experience and from friends telling me things they knew. Why is it always the victim that is the last to know.

Thanks everyone 

Love julie x 

You sound a lot more in control Julie, well done you.   Your last sentence, my very first thought was.....

Ignorance is bliss..... maybe that's why

I can't help thinking you knew he was a shité and I reckon you would of put up with his behaviour - making out you didn't know or couldn't see it - thinking that you need him.  (I could be totally wrong with this).  

I believe he has done you a favour doing this, he has stopped keeping you dangling on a string.  I believe you will see him for what he actually is - (I have words, but, best not to use them).  

You keep strong young lady - you have come so very far - soon you will be saying 'you don't know why you stood for this for the time that you did' xx