New diagnosis and terrified

Hi  and a very warm welcome to the forum. I suspect that medics do make tricky patients and you probably know too much! I had a similar diagnosis but am rather longer in the tooth than you, but you will find lots of others with similar beasts and treatments here. We all all somehow do get through it - each in their own way but one tip I remember was to try to just take each day and stage as they come. Try to damp down all the ‘what ifs’ because worrying about them all won’t change anything. And you are at the stage that most of us have found the worst - waiting for results. Horrible limbo time. Once you know exactly what you’re dealing with and have a definite treatment plan, you may feel more able to cope with it all. There’s really no way to sugar coat a cancer diagnosis, it’s crap and none of us wanted it, but we all seem to have felt better once treatment starts. And breast cancer really is very treatable these days. 

There’s lots of support and shared experiences here so make the most of the site. On the Awake thread there’s usually someone to chat to at any time of the day, serious stuff but also lots of laughs. I am mainly to be found on the Walking back to Happiness thread as walking has been my sanity saver. 

Sending love and a big virtual hug, keep posting and let us know your results. There’s also a chemo thread in the Diagnosis and treatments section. HFxxx

Thanks Happy feet, it feels better just talking. I flit from crying to normality to despair and it's really strange.

I desperately need a proper plan and to get started treating this thing and getting rid of it!

Thankyou again. X

This is a great place where you can say whatever you want without worrying about upsetting your loved ones. We’re often so busy looking after partners and children that we don’t allow ourselves to express just how devastated we are. Somehow once it’s ‘out’ it’s actually easier to deal with. Glad you’ve found your way here. Xxx

It’s a nightmare I feel emotionally drained wishing you all the very best with your treatment X️

Hi Honey1010

Emotionally drained is exactly it.

Today is perhaps the worst day for me in this journey so far...telling the kids.

I hate how upset and worried thus is going to make them but I'm determined to be strong and positive for them...I'll do my crying in bed at night with my hubby.

I hope the sense of relief I have been told will come once they know.

I feel lost, frightened and if I'm honest really pissed off this have invaded our lives!

Feels good to talk to others feeling the same x

Poacher65

my experience similar to yours, I’m a 52 year old nurse diagnosed 23rd December with grade 2 , 23mm invasive ductal cancer, lumpectomy 1 lymph node positive, I had Oncotype DX test and low score - 17-so no chemo but 15 fractions radiotherapy.

Telling my 14 year old daughter was the hardest thing my husband and I have ever had to do, I tried making the diagnosis sound as positive as possible for her, as after all my cancer was detected at 1st routine mammogram through breast screening programme. Sold it to her as lucky it had been detected early and plan is surgery to remove it then radiotherapy as an extra precaution, she seemed ok with that. I’m now 2 weeks post radiotherapy, still cry every day, and still go from utter despair and feeling my life is out of control to trying to be more rational about situation. I’ve been on sick since diagnosis so trying to give myself some emotional recovery time before thinking about going back to work as Palliative Care CNS ( yes I did love my job but it doesn’t seem as great in current situation). Please be kind to yourself and allow some emotional readjustment to diagnosis and impact on life, big hugs xx

I’m so scared as well I feel so lost. I’m so grateful to all of you ladies just being able to have somewhere to come to and exchange our stories and support is so important to me because you are theonly ones who truly understand. I’m just trying to get through each day at the moment. I wish everyone good health and a full recovery. I’m so grateful I went for that first mammogram even though I’ traumatised  because the hospital told me my cancer would not of been found for another two or three years. I found this herbal tea from twinings called a moment of calm and it does help me. Lisa X️

I remember those feelings so well.   Everyone is right,  the waiting is the worse bit.

I think you go through a sort of grieving process.  I'm 57 (56 at diagnosis) and went from anger to disbelief to sobbing to why me and back again. 

I've been very lucky to be close to my sister who has been a lifeline. She gave me a great bit of advice at the beginning.   You'll find out that some people are great supporters and some just go with the "you're strong... you'll get through this", which I've found the least helpful thing anyone can say.   My sister said don't be afraid to lean on those who offer support and keep the others at and length. 

I've also not been backward in saying to my friends things like "thank you for your text the morning of my chemo,  it really helped".  It gives great guidance to them as to what to do. One of my friends told me she didn't like texting me all the time asking me how I was since she felt she was bothering me,  and I told her that so long as she didn't expect me to answer that too helped.

Good luck going forward.

Cathy

I am on cycle 2 of chemo for a 56mm invasive ductal in my right breast, no sign of spread thank goodness, but it's both herceptin and estrogen positive.   I completely understand your fear of the CT, that was the worst for me, but I had a lot of reassurance from a radiologist who was great at helping me see the reality of the wonders of modern cancer treatment.

Chemo is going pretty well so far, better than I had hoped, and the nursing team are great at helping with managing side effects.   I wanted to share that as at one point I was more terrified of chemo than the cancer!  

good luck, and stay as positive as you can be