Scared and alone

Hello you are not alone, we are here, we understand. Do you have a diagnosis & treatment plan yet?  How old are your children?

There is a very active Awake thread if you just fancy a chat

Awake

Hi

so sorry you are feeling like this, but please don’t worry as mostly we all feel like this at the beginning.  It is all so very, very scary and we all want a magic wand too. But you will be amazed by how you get through it all. You will find your inner strength and you will get through it one step at a time.

At the beginning I found nights hard, still do, and waking up in the morning and realising it wasn’t a dream and it was really happening was absolutely dreadful! I cried every morning for the first few weeks.

please cry whenever you want to, it is such a release, let it out as it does help!

come on here, on this forum and talk it through with the lovely friendly people on here as that helps too.  You will also get many helpful tips by reading the posts, you will learn you are not on your own there are loads of us going though it.  I live a long way from all of my family and my grown up children and grandchildren but I am lucky to have a supportive husband, and I talk to my children regularly on the phone. But I haven’t told anyone at work and I suppose I have made it a much more lonely experience for myself but I didn’t want to tell them and I have been able to get away with it while still working due to being able to work from home throughout the covid situation.

Don’t know what your plan is but breast cancer is very treatable. I was told this at the beginning and was very sceptical but I have now found out it is true.

I have completed my chemo in January and had a lumpectomy on 4th March, due to start radiotherapy soon.

I had 3 sessions of EC, then 4 sessions of docetaxel, pertuzamab and trastuzumab in 3 weekly cycles.  This reduced my almost 6cm lump in breast and lymph node under arm to no trace .... amazing!

I would definitely recommend doing the cold cap if you get offered it. You need to do it from the first session of chemo, if you have chemo.  It is not pleasant especially the first 10 mins or so, but it is worth trying and persevering. I lost a lot of hair during the EC cycles but have kept enough not to need the wig I bought for just in case.

Good luck with your journey! There will be a lot of ups and downs but stay strong.  I have been scared every step of the way, but each step has not been has bad as I feared.

Hello Im so sorry to hear about your situation.  I found calling Breast Cancer Now and them connecting me with someone who had been through the same thing five years previously really helped. The person called me for a one off chat before my chemo.  I have signed up to the Macmillan support service and someone will call for a total of 8 sessions every two weeks.  I have spoken to the above charities and another charity called hair cancer care.  I found it really helped.  Macmillan can also provide financial advice.  I am taking each step at a time.  I had surgery and am now going through chemo with a cold cap to help preserve hair.  Once you pick up the phone to these organisations it really helps.  Also call the breast care nurses at the hospital and leave a msg they will get back to you if you have any questions regarding what type, grade, anything you may wish to know which you sometimes miss when you are first diagnosed.  

Hey yes I have diagnosis and I've started treatment plan well half a diagnosis still waiting for her2 results. My kids are 20 and 17, but the 20 year old has a lot of their own issues and problems that I've been trying to help them with.

Hi there, I am also newly diagnosed and just about to go into the 2nd cycle of chemo. My daughter is 22, she lives a few hours drive away and I know she is scared for me, and I am scared for her!  What can we do in here to help?   I have found chatting to others in these forums is good,  and I have also used the helpline to talk things through with a real and experienced person, maybe that could work for you.  We are all in this together and we will all get through this! 

So sorry to hear you are feeling like this. It can be a very lonely journey but there is lots of free online support available and I've found the following charities really useful:

Penny Brohn - for Zoom sessions including relaxation, exercise, information sessions plus free access to Headspace (great meditation app)

Breast Cancer Haven - offering the same as above but specifically for breast cancer

Feel good, look better - online beauty and hair workshops plus YouTube videos - really relaxed and enjoyable but you need to book workshops quite far in advance as they are popular!

Breast cancer now - lots of info plus Someone like me service so you can chat to someone who has been through a similar experience as you

Cancer hair care - lots of useful information plus online support

If you need chemo this forum is really good for advice and support:

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/chat-breast-cancer/f/questions-about-diagnosis-and-treatment/214737/april-2021-breast-cancer-chemo

Do try and have a look at the charity websites - they have offered invaluable support and information to me over the last 4 months and will continue to do so as I go through my treatment.

Take care and wishing you all the best.

Xx

Thank you for the info on cold cap. I’m starting chemo soon and wanting to try the cold cap. Xx