How do you tell your 8 yr old daughter who is very anxious about everything

Hello percy77,

im so sorry to hear this. I was diagnosed on the 9/12 and have a 12 year daughter. I wanted to get Xmas out of the way and for it to be as normal as possible. I have rehearsed how I’m going to tell her and I’m going to do it before she goes back to school. This is the only time I cry, when I think of her. I’m just going to tell her the facts and try to answer any questions. She is very reflective and so I think she will need a bit of time to process everything. Have you a partner that can be there too, in case she needs to talk about her fears with someone other than you? 

I’m also going to tell a couple of her friend’s mums in case she wants to talk to her friends and just prepare them for any potential questions they might get. 

Hi Cyprusfav

yeah I think telling them before they go back is a good idea x

i do have my husband so we will tell her together. How are you going to start the conversation? Xx

I think we will snuggle up in bed with the dog. ( we often do this with our extended mornings) and just say something like..  mummy has has a bit of news.. the doctors have found a lump in my breast and it’s looking like it’s cancer. I’m going to be ok and it’s very common so there is nothing to worry about, but I might need an extra hug from time to time.. then I’ll see where the conversation takes us. I don’t want to plan it too much and will be led by her. If she cries I probably will as she needs to know that’s ok. She she doesn’t I won’t! 

what are you thinking might work for you? 

There is lots of inf and advice on how to tell your kids, but only you know your daughter.. so do what you think is right. 

It’s the bit I can’t bear to do x I know how you feel x I watch her play and think I’m just about to make you sad and that’s really hard to cope with xx do you have support for you tell your daughter? Xx

Yes, my husband who is very practical and matter of fact. Everything will be fine and whilst that’s positive, sometimes it would be better if he just showed a little concern! I wish you well. Let me know how it goes. I’ll send you a friend request 

Ros x

Hi

tahts good that you have him x my hubby is the same. It will be fine and you’ll be ok. At least we have them and I spose everyone deals with the information differently don’t they? Thanks Ros xx I’m still getting used to the chat site so if I don’t reply to your request it’s that I’m having a blonde moment with the techie bits and not that I’m being rude xxx

I know what you mean, it’s nit the easiest sites to navigate. I find chatting with a few nominated friends is easier. I get an email to say they have added something to the site and I click on the email link. That works better in my case. 

You can add a little profile as well, so people in similar situations can connect. 

Hope you find it works. 

When is your next appointment.. do you have a treatment plan.. still waiting for mine! 

We have exactly the same mornings all pile in bed for snuggle! Yes I was probably going to start in a similar way I’ve read that the conversation needs to be led by them which I would have done anyway x thanks I think I just needed reassurance that the way I was thinking of approaching it wasn’t completely wrong. I’m terrified of getting it wrong. Saying the wrong word or phrasing it wrong so that I make it worse for her. I’m over thinking it I know I am so I’m need to do it quickly before I end up doing my own head in! thanks for your help Ros x I’ve accepted your friend request but not sure if that means we can reply directly or even how that works?!  

Ah thanks for tech tips! 
yeah I have my treatment plan and it all kicks off with chemo will get details of my appointment next week.

the worst bit for me (apart from telling my daughter) was the week before my biopsy results (even though I knew what they’d be) and not knowing how they were going to treat me. Once you get your plan you will feel a lighter as there is clearer pathway of treatment and the order they will do it. 
I’m stage 3 and have 2 different types so they’re throwing the lot at me.

let me know how you get on not only with your treatment but with your daughter too xxx