hi guys and gals, well for some reason ive managed to lose some of my posts, brain fog at the moment, im not new on here, was diagnosed in November of this year, with DCIS, Invasive, had a lumpectomy on the 8th Dec along with SNL removal which they ended up taking two out subsequently both tested positive for more cancer cells so now having a axilliary node clearance on the 29th December, looks like the work i put in with the exercises for the past two weeks will have to start from scratch again but hey ho, its definitely been a dodgy rollercoaster ride over these weeks, ive learned a lot about myself, and my humour, as i said cancer feels like to me that someone has come along and hit me with a very cold wet sock in the face.
Somedays i wake up feeling blah, and somedays i'm ok, i try to keep busy, rest when i need to, can't emphasise too much if you can get out for a walk do it, it has certainley helped me over the last few weeks, this site has been a god send in the fact that there are so many supportive follk on here, and sometimes what can seem like a mountain when you talk to others it helps it become a little less of a mountain.
So surgery tuesday mmmm just on the mend from Lumpectomy, and will be laid up for new years eve, im not sure whether i will be glad to see the end of this year for so many reasons bother personally and the effects of Covid i think this new years ever will be some what bittersweet for a lot of people, especially those lost to covid, and in general, this time last year never envisaged being diagnosed with Cancer, and going through this journey, but i guess a lot of people don't do they?
Ive certainley had some deep conversations with people, and people that i never expected to want to know after i told them have been great support, and those that i thought would be great have ran for the hills, and hey i dont blame them, people handle things in their own way, a lot of the time it is because they don't know what to say. Am i different id say yes to some extent, with the added bonus of some lovely scars, and a wonky boob, but id rather have a wonky battered boob than not being here, and scars are scars weve all got them whether that is physical or mental.
Ive started a little jar and when i have a good day or a good memory i write this down on a bit of paper fold it up and put it in the jar, my intent is to fill this jar with happy memories and thoughts for when i have the dark days, that are not so good, then i can pluck one of these little bits of paper out and read it to remind myself that there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel that the sun will shine again, that it maybe a different kind of sun, but it will be there.
Anyway ladies and gents, that was a bit deep for me, so Axilliary node dissection, here i come, lets hope the ninja and minions are not lurking too much in these little bad boys, then prob be starting chemotherapy, and radiotherapy, so a good few months yet on this ride, happy new year to everyone, keep smiling as much as you can, and keep finding the the better side of things to make you smile, be kind to yourselves as much as you can.
xxxxx
