Hello all, although I am regularly awake through the night when I should be sleeping it’s usually worries about my stage 4 BC. But not tonight, I wish it was the usual but at the moment it’s something so much more painful. We had to have our 15year old Jack Russel euthanised yesterday afternoon. I thought I was broken before, but now, it’s unbearable. I don’t know how to ease the pain in my heart.
My boy ‘Chester’ helped me through the 1st diagnosis in 2012 and all the surgeries and chemo involved (BRCA2- so had extra bits taken away). He has been my constant companion since my 2nd diagnosis in 2018.
I still work full time from home (since March) for NHS and my little boy would lie under my work chair in the spare room keeping me company every day. I’m dreading being in there without him in just 4 hours time.
Thank you so much. I had the most awful night, hoping it had all been a bad dream and he was back on the foot of the bed. 
Thank you for your message. I’m still absolutely devastated, I think I am feeling it more than the rest of my family, but that being said he was my dog, my fur baby. I feel so lonely when working to as I have had to shield since March. Chester’s company in my home office made it bearable. 
