Cancer diagnosis 19th Nov

Hi ELAG, sorry you find yourself here, it’s a great place for support and shared experiences but of course we’d all rather not have to join this club! A warm welcome and a big hug to start with. Re whether to work while you’re waiting for results and further appointments, you really have to go with what feels right for you. As a teacher you are ‘on show’ and have to be ‘firing on all cylinders’ (sorry for the cliches!) so if you don’t feel up to it, stay away. No GP would refuse you a sick note so take the time you need.
I was a teacher too at the time of my diagnosis. In my case I felt I couldn’t tell anyone because my daughter was in the middle of a jungle for a month so I couldn’t bear to think that others would know before her. So I carried on working with my head firmly buried in the sand, and only told work that I’d be having an op to remove a breast lump and would be off afterwards for at least 2 weeks. In the end I had the op during October half term and didn’t go back to work till after the following February half term, a month after I finished radiotherapy! I didn’t have chemo- have a look at my profile for the basic details. Looking back, I think I probably went back too soon but that’s another story! 
Others have worked pretty much throughout their treatment but I don’t think most teachers would be able to. And really the most important person here is you, and your unique circumstances and needs. Please listen to your mind and body, and take whatever time you need. 
Sending love and another big virtual hug. Keep posting, you will get through this time and things generally seem easier to cope with once you know the full nature of your particular beast and have a definite treatment plan. HFxx

Horrible horrible place to find yourself. I'm new here but I have a cousin who was in your position a few years ago and is fine now. I'm not saying it wasn't a hard road, but it's behind her now - hugs xxx

Hi there !

I find myself in the same position . I was diagnosed on 17th November .. still feels unreal to be writing that . I am currently working from home but finding it difficult to concentrate. I work in Speech Therapy so glad they have stopped me working in hospital or school for the time being. I have been given a date for surgery (3rd Dec) and hope to get out the same day. I feel sick at the thought of what they’re going to do and would rather not know beforehand . Mine has been caught early too but it doesn’t stop the fear of the diagnosis. They are hoping to give me hormone treatment and radiotherapy .. I guess I will just have to wait and see ! Good luck with your journey ... definitely a club I never imagined I’d be a member of xx

Just take time off.  It's a difficult time and I took 5 months off from diagnosis .  Like you I worked public sector so financially not impacted as you get 6 months full and 6 months 1/2 pay.  I did meet ladies who had to work through as they only entitled to SSP so had no choice ! 

I worked as accountant so office based and physically I could have managed but mentally I just couldn't focus !  I needed to be alert , decisive and on the ball at meetings as a often millions of pounds involved .  I went back a couple of weeks after finishing radiotherapy and I think the universe decided it was too soon as I broke my leg so was off again for 3 weeks and then I trialled remote working (this was in 2015).  When I went back finally I felt up to dealing with the tilted head pity comments and surprising was up to working full pace immediately.  I deleted all the emails from my time off deciding if it was important they would contact me again !!!  So satisfying highlighting thousands of email without even reading subject and hitting delete.  

You've also got a young family that you've still got to look after - my daughter was in uni .   If you have family/friends who genuinely mean their offers of help, accept without letting them take over !  

Once you have your treatment plan you will feel better .  You will feel the situation is being controlled and you have focus .   Whatever you do, do not waste precious energy making others aside from your children feel better snout your diagnosis!  It's ok to say 'I'm sorry but I'm struggling with my diagnosis' and distance yourself from people dragging you down with their well meant but thoughtless comments .  Allow yourself space to focus on yourself x

My advice is not to drive yourself mad worrying about results.  The team do have them quite early on and I would ring and ask for them.  It is always better to know either way than worry.  The consultant will get it all out (might take two ops) but they will do it and you will be OK!

I went back to work 4 days after my diagnosis and after 2 weeks post op for diagnosis lumpectomy. I really tried to be focused and on it at work. Afterall I had been reassured of a positive prognosis. 4 weeks later I am off again for 2 more weeks following excision for margin and awaiting results. 

I was able to take 2 weeks annual leave the first time as fairly new in post and hadn't hit my authorised sick allocation. I now will be taking the full 2 weeks and then onto SSP. 

I work as a care home manager and as you can imagine its quite stressful at the minute. I have been reassured by my boss that they are there to support me. So far I haven't seen any evidence of this and the pressure continues to be relentless. 

I know that cancer is a protected category under law but I also know the system well enough that if I'm not productive there is more than one way to skin a cat.

My BCN has said that I should take off as much time as I need but that's not always as easy as it sounds.

Who knows what the journey will bring yet. 

Debs

Hi Deb, sorry you find yourself with this extra stress.  The luxury of paid sick leave not being available to all during any serious medical treatment is such an added stress.  Like many public sector workers I lamented our pay freezes and below inflation level pay awards but having paid sick leave in my time of need made me count my blessings.  
Macmillan has a line you can call to help you navigate any benefits you might be entitled to etc.  because I'm not sure how someone is expected to live in £95 a week !  

Hi Elag, I had operation a year ago and ignored everything! Not the way to go! Only opened pack a couple of months ago and now able to talk about it. I am 72 and you are very young,you just need to concentrate on yourself as you are the only one that matters right now. Work can come when you feel better. We all deal with things differently but you will feel better when you come to terms with everything. You and your family are all that matter!

Hi Elag, I’m I in a similar position  ( although TA not teacher) 

I was diagnosed Mid September, I took a few days off initially to get over the shock. I then went in and told my HT and was quite open with other staff members, I found it helped me being open. I had so many appointments so regularly had afternoons off. I personally found keeping busy kept my mind off everything, I would then have to come home and care for my kids so found the distraction welcoming. Once I got my lumpectomy date ( 4wks later) I took 2 wks off to isolate for op and i am now on wk 7 at home. Thankfully I don’t need chemo so I am planning on going back in for couple of weeks before Xmas - part time as I’m struggling with arm pain and movement . After Christmas I have my radiotherapy so will again take a couple of wks off, just to be safe Covid- wise and also to save myself some pressure. 
my husband wants me to stay off and give myself a month post radiotherapy to recuperate but I plan to go in on a staggered return. My concern is the fatigue, and like you said having kids to come home and continue ‘working’ it’s not like you can come home and crash out after a day at work!

My headteacher has been brilliant and if I chose to take the whole time off it would have been fine. 

sending lots  of love your way. Do what’s best for you. I overthink and so keeping my mind busy was important to me. I also struggle to relax, esp post- op I was in lots of pain that relaxing was impossible! 

xx

Dear Elag, 

Be kind to yourself.  The info pack will still be there tomorrow. You are still dealing with the shock, especially as you are so young. It will be quite raw emotionally, and it's ok, not to be ok. 

I am a teacher and my consultant gave me a sick note for 3 months. My treatment has just finished, but I am not ready to go back yet, so am planning towards January.  But do what you feel is right for you.  There is no right or wrong way to feel. 

Coping strategies:Your enough is good enough.  You will get through this

Take care x