I was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in July, it has spread to lungs, back and liver. It’s been a bit of a journey 3 stays in hospital,lung drains, liver biopsy, more scans and X-rays than I remember. The hospital suspected COVID the last time I went in with a virus and h ad me ready for a box, but eventually I was ok. Hospital is a bit of a weird place when nobody’s allowed in to support you and you are on too many medications to think straight. I got through 33 days in hospital with only a couple of melt downs and have always been pretty optimistic about my outcome.
Anyway I am having 6 sessions of E.C. Chemo which I believe is a pretty strong one and the bone injections. Just had number 4 so 2 before Xmas and I finish. I just find that each one the side effects differ. I never got a break from the last one when not only did I have extreme fatigue but let’s say it felt like every lady problem and toilet problem you could have. I decided right at the beginning I would be the same as when I was 1st diagnosed with cancer 7years ago, positive, get on with it, knowing I am well. Having healing etc. I had a miracle and my cancer was down graded after biopsy from 3 to 2. I halve decided with this one I am living 10 years minimum. Everyone says I am so positive, strong etc but I feel so weak. The tiredness, weak muscles, toilet problems and shear indignity of feeling 90 when you’re 56 is horrible. I am on steroids for ages so have moon face, plus my legs are so weak I am scared I will end up immobile. How negative is that? to add to it my partner can’t cope and is about as much help as a chocolate tea pot. He has shut down, is drinking too much and won’t get help.
I think I am just tired of feeling unwell, frustrated at not being able to do much, annoyed that side effects change each time so you cannot put stuff in place and feeling like nobody understands. My partner works away all week which is actually a blessing, weekends he is home.
I do my exercises for legs and move around as much as possible, my friends and family have supported me, my McMillan nurse is great and I will soon be finished with chemo. So why so negative now, saying I cannot cope with side effects, doubting my 10 year goal, getting very moody. Why now, I need to be the warrior people think I am and stop being a negative Nora. I feel extremely nauseous this morning and have literally sat and cried before 6am, not the way to start the day.
I am sorry if this is just a rant but I just felt the need to reach out!
Sending positive thoughts x
Hi
Just popped on to say there is a reason most people only get 3/4 EC . All chemo brings its own problems and side effects Cos we all different and react differently but as you were told EC is a strong one. You have already been thru a lot so yes you are tired fed up and miserable ..well thankgod your normal !
With regards nobody understand again you're right ..unless they been thru it the don't know what to say or do .
That's why this site is a blessing
My story is on my profile just click on name but just to let you know I had EC X 6 at no 4 the SE extended to about day 18 I was offerered to change to another weekly one at that point but refused and continued with no. 5/6 . This finished on Dec18th 2019 both 5& 6 were delayed by one week to let me recover more so if you need to this can happen . Nobody on your unit wants you to feel ill so ask for and take any remedy offered . I had dry eye drops ,oral thrush meds & mouthwash all on tap from chemo unit .
My message is it is doable ...I spent most of last Nov and Dec either ranting or crying I was that exhausted by Se ..this was after fairly sailing thru first three cycles didn't know what had hit me by no 6 .
Im now looking forward to January and getting last three weekly herceptin. Then continue with infusion six monthly .
it won't be long before you finish your treatments and because you're doing well in keeping active not long til your positivity pants are back .
As Karen said we have a good gossip / laugh on the Awake thread see you on there soon
