Round 1 - MrT1 One, Cancer Nil

You can't leave us in suspense.......the missing puzzle piece?

Oh my gosh this site - drives you up the wall trying to get it to work - that from someone with 40+ years of working with computer software including programming (many years ago)

The missing piece Lacomtekp? My mother was diagnosed with dementia last February and the decline has been like a ski slope - so sad to see. I have moved Mum to a care home 3 minutes from where I live rather than 100 miles away and that has caused Surrey CC to flip its lid and deny her all access to financial support because I moved her into care when she asked me to (which was several months after she actually needed to). Because I didn't ok the move with them first, even though she was found half naked wandering outside her home by her neighbours, SCC didn't seem to think mum needed residential care. I did and was lucky enough to find a place in the local dementia care home for her within 3 days of that event. So no I didn't wait to get SCC approval. Do I care if their legal team found 6 reasons why they shouldn't support a former Surrey resident of 20 years - not really (although I was fuming at the time). Mum is in the right place and not a moment too soon, we got Mum into care just before the lockdown in April.

The missing puzzle piece? Financing the £6,000 a month care fees is sapping my savings at an alarming rate. Mum and Dad, (passed away 6 years ago), have a lovely house but no savings. The house I have been trying to sell since July. They worked hard all their lives and the house is security for Mum's care now. Once this is sold, the piece of my puzzle, I have secured Mum's care home fees, I can then retire from my full time day job and devote my working time to our small farm working with my partner and sharing the load. And Mum is 3 minutes away. Perfect. 

So I really hope that piece doesn't fall on the floor hiding under the table and fits the hole really soon!

Take care. £6,000 a month? It's all wrong isn't it but I'm so pleased you are happy with the place you have found for her.

Hi MrT1

Pleased to hear that you don't need chemo and hope that the Tamoxifen doesn't cause you too many hot flushes.I was prescribed it as part of a drug trial 22 years ago but had it in conjunction with Anastrazole for 10 years. Lots of hot flushes but I did have the double whammy. Fingers crossed you will not suffer too many and that it will keep the beast away. ( Taking Letrozole this time - see my profile if you wish )

I hope that you get a sale through quickly for your Mother's house and thus secure her care. The rules are so unfair and the costs are horrendous but at least you know she is having good care and is close by.I wish you and your partner a long and happy life together. Sending hugs

Wow, well done on winning round 1.

Fingers crossed for round 2. 

It's a great plan and it will be wonderful when it all falls into place. You sound very determined and organised, I'm sure that you will succeed. 

MrT1 so pleased about round 1,sorry about round2, but well done. Your spirit and positivity are amazing!

Sorry about the bad treatment by SCC, so unfair. I hope your mum’s house sells very soon and you can stop work.

All good wishes ti you and your partner fir a long and happy life together!

Thanks Kwissy keeping my fingers and toes crossed. Knowing that you have been on tamoxifen for so long is really encouraging. I think I have quite a strong feminine side so the girls in the office will find it highly amusing if I start getting hot flushes! How brave of you to go in for the trial when the drug was unproven - amazing and thank you for doing that.

It is so great having mum so close, when she gets in a complete tiz about something and I can't calm her down on the phone the home is really good and let me pop in for a cuppa with her, Covid checks permitting, and we can get her nice and calm again. The staff at the home are amazing.

Many thanks for the hugs

Take care

Big hug to you

Thanks seaspirit44, you are very kind. Yes SCC were quite horrible to deal with, very stressful, but that's nothing compared to what mum is going through, so frightening for her.

Will be fab if the plan comes off.

Many thanks and we are making plans for a year at a time now after this prognosis. The motorhome is ready and waiting for our next adventure in life. And we want so many of them.

Take care, huge cyber hug

Hi Glade

Thank you - I have to admit my partner is the one helping me push my boundaries even more, but yes we are determined and consider ourselves extremely lucky we have the possibility of this future together.

Take care and wishing you well in all things

Big cyber hug

Mark

Hi Mark MrT1, 

a motorhome? We too are looking forward to using ours a lot more come the spring, we do use it so we are not reliant on the loos and tiny kitchen at the computer museum on Saturdays when public are around! 
your sorry story about your Mum and the delayed sale of a house is so sad, I hope it can get resolved soon but glad she seems content in the new home. 
Hugs xxx