Letter has knocked me bzck

PatsyP2 was it seeing it in writing that upset you?  I think we've all had periods of parking it and getting on with life then bang a worrying intrusive 'what of' thought hits you .  Once you have your treatment plan and it starts it will get better as you feel more in control.   You can skyways come on here ru vent - we all understand especially the family and friends not understanding the mental impact of being told you have cancer .  They mean well but don't get it and it's frustrating xx

Hi PatsyP2, yes I found just the same, getting the copy letters (usually from clinic to GP) was really horrible although I still had to read every detail. Think it just seems so stark, to see the clinical details in writing. As you say it’s nothing you didn’t already know, but still grim to see it there with your name. I felt (and still feel) that the whole cancer experience is such a mix of cold reality and then sometimes a sense of ‘is this really happening to me?’ so the bare facts in letter form can really come as quite a shock. All very weird. Funnily enough though I have kept every letter, filed away in my Primary Breast Cancer Resource Pack which I received from the bc nurse at my post biopsy diagnosis appointment. I used to reread them from time to time, why I don’t really know, but have gradually distanced myself more. 
It’s all a strange process, helps so much knowing that there are so many of us going through similar experiences. Love and a big virtual hug, HFxx

Hi Grogg

I think it probably was. And just that I wasn’t really expecting to see a copy of the referral letter, even though I know it is normal practice to copy patients in on all letters. 
Yes, I really would like to ‘park it’ and get on with life as much as I can. Don’t think that will happen soon but every single person on these forums says that it is all much easier to deal with once the treatment plan is in place. 
Thank you

HappyFeet1, thank you so much. I already feel as though I am having some out of body experience! And yes, it is the cold clinical reality that hits home. 
It certainly does help to chat to others who are going through or have gone through similar experiences. I haven’t yet told my adult children or any friends, so for now it is just me and my husband. He is very logical and analytical and doesn’t like to speculate or discuss much until he has the facts. So although we are talking - when we can, when nobody else is around- it is a huge release to pop on here if I need a bit of reassurance etc. 
x