The news you never want to hear

Hi , firstly take a deep breath! It's only been a couple of days since your surgery and the anaesthetic will still be in your system! 

Now one piece of advice I will give you is DON'T look on google for any answers, unless it's a reputable and up to date site like this one! 

Also 55 is by know means old and you certainly have many years ahead of you, with or without treatment! However I'm not sure where you found information regarding your prognosis, but in reality IF they have removed all of the Cancer and your nodes are clear then your chances of living Cancer free for many many years to come, is pretty bloody good!!

As for whether or not you should take any form of hormone treatment, well that's your call. BUT don't be led by all the online horror stories. Remember hundreds of thousands of ladies and gents take the hormone tablets with little to no side effects, so please don't base your decision on what you have read online! Don't forget as a rule people come on these sites because they are struggling with side effects they are looking for advice and support. Those with no side effects have no reason to come on here and gloat about being problem free! 

So you mention grandchildren. Wouldn't you like to do everything you can to try and be around for them as long as you can? Would you really not even try a hormone drug and see how it affects YOU?! We are all individuals and every drug affects us differently! Yes some have mild issues, others major issues and some none at all. But these drugs have been proven to stop Breast Cancer recurring and some people really do continue on with their lives with no ill effects!

Am I pushing you to take the drugs, NO but am I pushing you towards collecting all the information available and making a informed decision that you can live with, YES!!

If you decide these drugs aren't for you make sure you have asked yourself, how will you feel IF you don't take them and the cancer returns? Will you be okay with that? Or will you give yourself a hard time and question why you didn't give it a go?!

This is just my view on things and I'm sure others will have their own opinions! I come from being a 38year old at diagnosis, who went through surgery, chemo and rads followed by Tamoxifen, which I hated. Only to be told at age 40 that my Cancer was Stage 4! I did everything that I was told and took those drugs every day even though I hated them and it still came back or perhaps in my case never truly went away. So you see whatever you decide to do is up to you. But please allow yourself time to get over this surgery before you make a huge decision. 

There are no guarantees with this disease whatever you decide! But just make sure you do what feels right for you! Don't assume the worse without giving things ago! You hopefully have many many years left to watch and enjoy your growing family! Think about things, carefully after all this could be a life changing decision.

Sending Love your way. Sal xxx

Hi. 
and welcome to a site you hoped you’d never know about! 
at 73 I was in a similar situation, had found my lump myself, fast tracked and biopsied after the mammo, told there was a very good chance it was BC. It too was HER2 negative but OR positive. And following the mastectomy my nodes were clear (sentinel node or so removed a couple of weeks before, due to having a booked holiday) and so it was no chemo, no rads, ‘just’ Letrozole.

i had seen there were a few threads on the old site devoted to the side effects and had a long read. I felt I owed it to my disabled hubs and daughter (she’s disabled by having no immune system - long story!) to give it my best shot of living as long as possible so decided to try for Accord brand, being the one with fewer s/es than most. That I was able to get, and though hot flushes are almost inevitable they can be dealt with. Joint and bone aches can be helped by Claritin (antihistamine) and I also take glucosamine with chondroitin. 

I hope your decision is as easy as possible and you cope well. Aches and pains can also be helped by regular exercise (but don’t push it at first, allow time to get over the op!) and do make sure you do the arm and shoulder exercises, you don’t want to end up with a stiff shoulder! 

Hugs xxx

Hi

Glad to say I am a bairn compared to your advanced age of 55 (that did make me laugh...as I'm sure it did the other 'advanced' age ladies on here) at only 51 and 1 month!  Anyway welcome and stuff.

You can see my diagnosis on my profile, taking letrozole adds quite significantly to my 15 yr expectancy (10%) given my diagnosis & cancer findings.  You will read terrible things as generally people post (not always though) when things are bad, they have issues that they want resolving and people generally just get on with the good times rather than posting on here...that's just how things are.

I too value quality of life tippety top of my priorities but as a tight northerner will still not want to waste any of that pension!  The count down is on.

I did have more annoying side effects from the letrozole initially as I was not on a brand that suited me (some find different side effects from different brands...there's a few threads on here on the subject), now I've found a brand that suits, yes my knees are a little painful on an evening and I am a little stiff on a morning but it doesn't stop me living my life, walking, cycling, gyming etc. Just makes me grunt every now & then when I shift my bum from the sofa. You'll only know how it affects you once you've taken it so why not eh?  And you'll only know if any side effects are brand specific once you've been on it a while and you may find that brand no. 1 is your brand of choice.  If you do have terrible side effects you can always stop, change brand or type of hormone tablet to an alternative....I would if the side effects were detracting from my quality of life.

As a northerner there's no such thing as blunt & crass so don't feel you have to apologise...I never do!

You're back at work quite quickly after your op...be kind to yourself and I hope your employer is supportive as you may not be 100% for a while yet  (I'm still well below 100% work-wise).

Sam

Thanks for advice - for sure it’s early days.  You are so right about where to look online   - there is so much stuff out there to read.  I certainly won’t rush to make any decisions. It’s been such a rollercoaster ride on top of everything else.  I found out my diagnose just before our son got married.  He got married just as weddings where allowed to happen. We kept it from the family until after the wedding.  It was crazy.  I am grateful they caught it when they did.  
im pretty bruised and swollen and exhausted at the moment.  More sleep needed x

Sleep lots! This is the time to be selfish, to look after yourself so that you will be able to look after others again when you are healed! 
afternoon naps too, don’t forget! they are not just allowed, they are encouraged!

Hugs xxx

And to add to moomy's "sleep is encouraged", I would hasten to suggest that back to work after a mastecomy in less than a week seems a little too soon?  Ok you work from home, but you really need to allow your body and your mind some time to recover! 
I was 51 on diagnosis - I can't believe you think that 55 is old!!! I am 54 now and no way do I feel old , as others have said - often it's negatives that are posted.  I am on Anastrozole for being ER+ and apart from the taking of the tablets, I wouldn't really know that I'm taking them.  Never say never - give them a try and see how you feel on them, You may be on Letrozole or Anastrozole.

Best wishes, Lesley x

Hi Eyes up.

Looking at the web site I do not see many men replying to this, which is a shame. I have just lost my 55 year old wife to breast cancer, I cared for her, gave up my business to do this and did not bat an eye lid in doing it. She had intensive radio therapy, but passed away after one session of chemo. It is so important to talk, explain to the family and friends and never ever bottle it up. You have sad days, bad days, and importantly hopeful days.... Focus on the hope not the pain.

The side affects are not the same for everyone, in fact they are quite individual. My wife had none from the radiotherapy, and quite frankly very little from the chemo. It is infection you need to watch out for, drink plenty of water, if you don't that's when infection can strike.

My best wishes to you, I feel your pain and tears and pray you get well as soon as possible

Andy