Struggling

Hi Jools-50

Firstly sorry you find yourself here but wish you a warm welcome and I'm sure others will too.  I was diagnosed in September 2018 and finished my treatment on 25th June 2019 so one year on and no evidence of disease from my MRI done in May .  Had a bit of a rough ride (all in my profile) but found this site a huge support during this time.  I found it hard to talk about so felt it was easier to ask on here and get replies from other lovely ladies going through the same thing.  I had lymph node involvement (3/16) so had bone scan and CT scan before chemo but I was the opposite from you.  My CT scan was clear but my bone scan highlighted something on my rib they wanted checked again . I was scanned again 6 months later and it turned out to be nothing. Just wanted to reassure you that it doesn't necessarily mean its something sinister.  The waiting for scans and then results is horrible, I think everyone will agree but by trying to stay positive will be a huge help for you going through chemo. Just wanted to add also that my experience of chemo wasn't too bad. I did suffer some side effects and didn't feel great the first week but the following 2 weeks I felt ok and was able to do most things I would normally do.  Hope this helps a little.  Good luck with your treatment.

S

x

Hi Mrs50

Thanks you for your very reassuring reply. I agree that the waiting for results is torturous, and is definitely the worst part of the process! I had just got my head around the original diagnosis, and convinced myself I could handle it, when the CT scan threw up the nodules issue. I know you are absolutely right in saying it could be nothing, especially as similar happened to you with your bone scan, but my brain seems to be programmed to automatically think the worst! Oh well, on with the chemo Monday week and I'll try my best to keep positive. Thanks again for your reply and advice, much appreciated..x

Hi Jools-50,

I'm sorry you find yourself with a Cancer diagnosis and the subsequent treatment and extreme anxiety it brings with it.  I really struggled with the diagnosis and had severe anxiety that lasted for ages, it has got easier but I can still worry myself silly with the what ifs. Its tough to deal with.  I had a 4cm tumour along with 0.5cm of DCIS and 2x micromets in lymph nodes, I had a CT scan which showed a ground glass nodule in my lung, they said it was probably an incidental finding and nothing to worry about but, as a precaution they would check it at intervals over a period of 3 years which I was advised was the Protocol.  2years on I have had 3 CT scans and the nodule has increased only slightly and they are still not worried, they have told me nodules in the lung are often seen and do not necessarily equate to a problem, despite the cancer diagnosis.  

Exercise helps me, walking is a good therapy and I often return from my walk feeling a bit more like my old self, ie more relaxed.  

This site has also been invaluable, I didn't find it until some time after my diagnosis.  Keep posting on here because the support is tremendous. 

Best Wishes. 

Hi there peterawake

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post, especially as you have faced similar challenges. I find it reassuring that you mentioned that it does get easier, at the moment I am in complete turmoil, meanwhile putting on a brave face for my 13 yr old daughter and 16 yr old son, who as far as they are concerned, mum has breast cancer and is going to get better. I know what you mean about walking clearing the mind, I have an energetic German shepherd who if she doesn't get her 3 mile walk per day there's chaos , I don't know what I'd have done without her over the past few weeks.

My plan at the moment is to start chemo Monday week, and take it from there. 

Thanks again and take care x

Hey! Just saying hi and welcome! I am 2 years on from diagnosis...I had a large lump and all my lymph nodes positive. I also, like so many here, have had severe anxiety, sleepless nights (and 2 teenagers!). I remember so well those first couple of weeks and I do want to say it does get easier when you have a plan in place. 

I have a vizsla and she was so amazing to have around....and soon got used to me walking her at weird times day or night! But it gave me a reason to go out and get fresh air. It will help during your treatment too....

Keep in touch...x

Hi there Galligirl

Thanks so much for your reply. Our diagnosis stories are very similar. To be honest, I wasn't actually too bad the day I was diagnosed, and even through surgery. The bottom seemed to fall out of my world the day the phone call came with the pathology report results. Hearing that all of the lymph nodes bar one were affected just sent me spiralling into a sense of hopelessness. I tried to pick myself up again, and now these lung nodules on the CT scan have scared me .. even though a few kind souls on here and also my GP have reassured me they might be nothing sinister. Thank god the bone scan was clear, one bit of good news! I'm really glad you are doing well 2 years after your diagnosis and I hope that whatever treatment plan they have for me will send me in the same positive direction as yourself x 

Hi Jools-50 and Galligirl

I read your posts having had and still having all the same anxiety and thoughts. I too felt I could cope when surgery and rads was the discussed treatment then got pathology results and it was so different. 19 out of 24 lymph nodes affected this terrified me and still does even though they were all taken out asap. Chemo followed and then more surgey /cavity shave. I am now nearly 3 months on from rads and all done, just take letrozole and bone tablet. I have good and bad days when I cant stop thinking about those pesky lymph nodes !! But they are thing of the past and am getting better at staying positive. Will be due 1 or mammogram in august. Hope all goes well for u and everybody. 

Xxx

Hi Pusheen

I'm sorry for what you've been through but also glad you've completed your treatment. I have exactly the same thoughts as you, the lymph node involvement is scaring me more than the actual tumour. But, like yourself, mine are all removed and I'm ready for chemo next week, psychologically I think I'll be in a better place once treatment starts. 

Take care and keep in touch xx

Hi Jools-50

I agree , I felt like chemo was really a friend in a way doing an important job for me, that's how I got through it anyway ! And I felt grateful it was there to have. Hope it all goes well .

Xxx