I finished my breast cancer treatment at the end of November 2019.
beforw hand I had gone through the lose of my mother to lung cancer October 2015. The break down of my marriage due to infidelity July 2017. Having 2 children, where my eldest ( daughter chose to live with her father July 2018, leaving me and my son. January 2019 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went through the various surgeries, 2 courses of chemotherapy and 7 weeks of radiotherapy. At the end of November 2019.
I have been of sick from work since January 2019, and in the process of losing my home, not just with being of sick but with the financial burden I was left in from my break up.
support over this time was on and off, with some close members ( my sister) forming opinions based on private conversations with my ex. Which were unfounded.
after my diagnosis the first month I had a lot of support, but this slowly drained off. I was very hurt my sister formed an opinion of me which was very negative about the way I was dealing with my current situation. And unfortunately she involved my daughter, ( yes I can across messages where my sister was calling me to my own daughter) this I can say certainly broke me at the point I needed my family the most.
anyway, I got through my treatment and am on the mend, however another situation arose which involved my daughter and sister once again and I was lied too.
Yesterday I was speaking to my daughter and she came out with a long speech as to how I need to sort myself out and people were worried about me, I had to go back to work.
1- am in the process of losing my home and I am going bankrupt to accommodate this.
2- the job I am currently employed ( still off sick) as I do not want to be at. I want to go back to what I did a few years back.
she has threatened to cut me of ( she is 15 ) if I do not get back to work and back to who I was before.
don’t know where to turn
.......I am so sorry you have had such a terrible few years. Any one of the difficulties would be debilitating on their own and for which you would need to feel supported rather than challenged but you have had to deal with all this on your own.
I hope it has helped to write everything down. However, whilst I can send you a cyber hug and tell you anytime you need to express your feelings, someone here will pick up and empathise with you, I think you can recognise too, these are very serious problems which require proper help. Do you have access to a councillor? If not....I think that should be your first request. You need to talk all this through with someone who is experienced with dealing with situations like yours and who can offer practical solutions. It may be possible to discuss some of these things with your daughter present to help her understand why you feel as you do and are unable to rush back to work. It is certainly not uncommon for breast cancer patients to feel different at the end of their treatment. I have read other posts also similar to yours where for whatever reason, marriages have broken up. Then there are all the financial issues which your daughter is having explained from other family members as your fault because you are off sick. You certainly need financial advice. I think Macmillan have experts who can council you for that and refer you in the right direction. In addition the death of your mother is still relatively recent and with all the other pressures, have you had a chance to grieve?
I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. I don't have any personal experience of your situations so can offer no practical solutions and whilst I hope it will help to know that on this site anyone reading your post will care about you, I think you really need 'real' face to face contacts to help support you. Talk to Macmillan, to your GP, a church leader?
I hope things can be sorted out for you soon. Dealing with all this by yourself is not a helpful conclusion to your cancer treatments.
love Karen
