I don't think I can do chemo

Hi Clumphillmatriarch,

I was very sorry to read your post. I felt very sick with FEC and tried different drugs. In the end, they gave me the anti-sickness tablets that they give you at the same time as chemo (onasteron?). It’s worth pushing for the best drugs they can give you.

 Chemo is really hard, but you’ve had three doses already. Count them down. I finished chemo a year ago and it’s a distant unpleasant memory. As well as that you’ve got the lockdown to deal with. It’s no wonder that you’re feeling as you are. 

Please make sure that you speak to the hospital staff and leave with the medicines that you need to make this easier on you.

Let us know how you get on,

Sarah x

Thanks for your reply. It’s good to get a response so quickly. I’m on ondandestron, meraclopromide & cytrazine (poss not spelt right), really constipated cos of meds & been taking them over a week now & still feel sick. Onc wants to try an anti anxiety med as well as what I’m taking.  I don’t have any faith any more that its possible to stop the sickness... I’m on the verge of giving it all up. Just a very hard decision to make. No face to face appointments cos of covid so can only discuss on phone. Might go to appt tomo & try to talk it thru but Onc won’t be there. 11 more treatments to go. I just don’t think I’ll survive that.....

TNBC 2 rounds of EC admitted to A+E after 2nd with fever and rash. Diagnosed Uti sent home on anti bots that reacted bad with chemo meds but this wk is easier.
Scared of 3rd round on 23/4, scared of the virus, very anxious being on lockdown.

Please phone your help line 2moro, talk to someone. We can do this, it’s hard, we feel so Ill, we have been dealt a double whammy, but we can do this and come out the other side. Hold on, talk to someone 2 Moro! 
please let us know how you get on 

Everyone needs the antinausea drugs with EC, but with Paclitaxel most usually just have the IV antihistamine and steroids on the day (though I needed the antihistamine for several days). Are they for the other drug? Apparently some of the antinausea drugs can make some women feel really sick,  so it might be worth looking at that. Domperidone make me feel terrible,  so I only took it the first cycle of EC and a day into the second. It's a terrible time right now to have treatment, most of us have felt really anxious on the  early days, and thr anxiety could also be adding to thr nausea?

Unfortunately at the moment hospital staff are all sequestered into helping on the wards, so it's hard to get support,  but you should be able to speak to your breast cancer nurse (or Macmillan nurse) who can speak to your/an oncologist.  All the 'nice' treats like those from Breast Cancer Haven, who can give free massages or put you in touch with free 1 to 1 counselling are on hold until things return to 'normal', but it sounds like asking for an urgent referral to the hospital psychotherapist would be an idea? You have an awful lot to deal with and it's hard to get the support you usually would expect from staff at the moment, but you need and deserve it! Good luck tomorrow.  Xxxx

Hello .....

Please never feel you're on your own or unsupported because as Sarah says there will always be someone here to listen to you and want to know how you are getting on.

I had triple negative cancer too. It's why it's particularly important that we try to persevere with the chemo/ radio because afterwards we can't be given any extra drugs to help prevent recurrence.  They are being trialled but not ready yet....... 

I do however know what it is like to react badly to the chemo. I had a number of very unpleasant  side effects and most cycles was unable to go out for one reason or another until practically the day before the next dose. I almost welcomed low white cell counts which delayed things by a week and sometimes two because it gave me time to regain a bit of strength. Always other people tell you to ask for more anti sickness drugs, reduced doses etc etc but unfortunately I came to the conclusion that, helpful though that suggestion can be,  for some people these simply do not make any difference. I coped by simply crossing off the days........I gave myself small challenges to fulfill each day from Day 1. For example.....wash and change pyjamas......next day shower and change.....next day go downstairs for an hour.....next day ..dress for an hour or so. It wasn't always possible. There were times when just turning my head made me sick but I got a lot of satisfaction from the challenges I did achieve. I don't normally detail the problems I had because most people do not get these reactions and I don't want anyone starting treatment to imagine this is the norm. Everyone is different. Nausea and continual vomiting are two very different side effects but I am telling you now because this wasn't me last month or last year but nearly five years ago. I made myself take the treatments I was offered because I wanted to give myself the best chance of fighting TNBC. I also gave up dairy products and only use paraben free toiletries and aluminium free deodorant. 

I'm not going to pretend it was easy. The memories of the treatment are as clear today as in 2016 but since my lumpectomy in 2015, my surgeon told me my cancer had gone and everything that followed was to prevent it coming back. I wanted to go on living.......so I struggled through the next eight months and it did pass and suddenly the treatment was  finished and I had given myself the best chance possible for a future without cancer. It has still stayed away!

I totally understand how you are feeling and add in the Lockdown and the dangers of the virus when you are part way through your treatment.....no wonder you feel despairing....I know I would have too...but don't give in just yet.....chat on here as much as you need. Ask for help, rant, cry......we really don't mind but don't sit at home feeling abandoned. 

On a practical point...have you tried sipping ginger infusions for the sickness.?When I didn't eat for several days my husband put some glucose syrup in the ginger to give me a little more energy. But perhaps you are on your own? If you are....please make sure the oncology department knows this. This is too much to be coping with totally by yourself.

I hope you will feel a bit better tomorrow.  If you have finished with the EC and started on the Taxotere.....( some of the drug combinations have already improved since 2015) you are over half way. Just hang on a little longer....

I hope by now you are asleep for tonight.

Take care. Stay safe.

Love Karen

Hi clumphillmatriarch!

Tried to send you a reply last night but for some reason my reply wouldn't send.  I hope you're feeling a little brighter today, you've had some really helpful replies.  I just wanted you to know that I'm in the middle of treatment for TNBC too (now waiting for surgery) - I managed to complete 12 weeks of paclitaxel and carboplatin and it wasn't easy, but my oncologist said that the first 3/4 weeks of treatment are the most important so try to continue for a bit longer, even if you can't finish all twelve.  I agree with the suggestion of sipping ginger tea for the nausea. I also found frozen pineapple pieces were good for when the appetite had gone completely.  Have you been offered Emend as an anti sickness drug? It might be worth asking your team about it as it's an expensive drug but a very effective one.  Please, please don't give up on your treatment!  I'm a member of facebook support group for TNBC UK - there are ladies on it who have successfully gone through treatment years ago and check in to support people just like you and me and to offer advice. Keep chatting on here too as there is always someone around to offer support. Please let us know how you get on, keep in touch, I'll be thinking of you. Sarah xx

Thank you for your lovely reply. When I woke up yesterday morning (chemo day) I was still feeling sick from the previous week. My head wanted to go but my body just says no. 

I’m very disappointed but they just can’t treat my sickness and it just makes me suicidal. I literally want to kill my self. So there’s no point....

Onc says now will have scan then radiotherapy. 

so, I’ve decided that my holistic approach, (radical anti cancer diet, herbal remedies & cannabis oil) is now the way forward for me. After the radio.

thank you so much for your support. I have literally no idea how anyone manages this......

Jane 

hi I'm sorry your finding chemo difficult to manage and that the feeling sick asnt faded for you.  Have you tried eating little and often? Like every 2 hours ? I find eating helps with the nausea feeling. I realise this is a terrible time to be having treatment and we all have to make some tough decisions along the way. You have to do what's best for you! But have you actually looked into survival rates for the holistic approach ? I'd be more scared of this than the actual chemo. But we are all different and what's right for one isnt right for the other? 

I just feel that short term pain for long term gain is how I'm dealing with the side effects . I'm having chemo to prolong my life I'm hoping it does the job.  Please speak with someone about the way you are feeling about proceeding with treatment. I hope you get the support you need. 

Take care 

Julie 

Hi. I feel so sorry for you and completely know how you are feeling. I was exactly the same. I had EC and then Docetaxel. My breast nurse said that I am one patient in a thousand that have all the side effects and have it rough. I was admitted 3 times to hospital and I was loosing my hope if I can do it as well. I am now 2 momonths after chemo just about to start radio.If I could do it  you can do it! I know that sometimes it's feeling impossible but you need to believe you can do it. You need to count it down. 

For sicknesses I was talking quite a lot of pills which didn't help much.Try eating little and  often something dry like crackers. I also had Gin Gins Hard Ginger Candy which helped me .

Good luck and stay strong

I’m very aware of survival rates & I have very poor chance of a cure (according to Onc) which makes chemo less appealing really. There’s no one for me to talk to. Onc just said it’s clear chemo doesn’t suit me. Not sure who else I could talk it through with. I’ve been on the phone many times to nurses about sickness but nobidy can stop it. 

I’ve been eating tiny amounts & frequently (hourly)  for weeks now. I’ve tried all the tips & guidance. They don’t know why I still feel sick but I do. 

Extreme nausea is totally debilitating. There’s no way I’d survive several more months of it, I would top myself....