I’m writing this out of panic, terror and desperation. I don’t know what to do with myself. I am trying to be strong for my wife, but inside I feel like I am on fire.
About 9 months ago my wife was lying on her back, with our very young toddler standing on her front. Accidentally, our daughter stood on her breast. The impact was sharp and extremely painful. My wife’s breasts are very small, so I think the impact was made that bit worse. From that day on, my wife complained of awful pain in her breast. But assuming it was bruising, we will thought it would just take time to heal. But over months, it never got any better and it began to slowly swell. A lump formed, that is now black and blue. She suffers horrendous discomfort, sensitivity and pain in it, day and night. Eventually 2 weeks ago we decided enough was enough and went to the doctors. The doctor examined and wondered if it might be some kind of inflamed cyst and referred us to breast unit for tests. She never mentioned the word cancer, even went so far on the referral as to say not cancerous. Today we went, and after ultrasound and mammogram and examination the specialist says he is very concerned, doesn’t know what it is and eventually said he’s about 90% certain it’s cancer. This hit us in a way I can not describe. The both of us, 8 hours later, are still numb and in shock. 7 days to wait for results. 7 days and nights of torturous waiting and fear. Inevitably, we are jumping to worst case scenarios. What confounded me is that they said the lump etc is totally separate from the incident and was not caused by the incident. To me that is inexplicable- what are the chances of that impact happening in the very part of the same breast, at the very same time, cancer develops?? But they seem certain it’s something to be worried about. My initial feeling of skepticism has given way to utter terror, about the immediate future, this week, the next week, if the beyond is to be cut short. I can’t breathe. I knew I should not have done but ventured online and the very first thing told me about inflammatory breast cancer, which is making me wonder if that’s what it is. And if it is, it sounds so fatal. The fact it affects younger women - she is 44 - seems coincidental. I don’t know what I’m asking. I don’t know what to do. I just keep thinking how if it is cancer can she have lived for the last 9 months in such otherwise good health - and how can they be so sure the incident had nothing to do with it?
Dear
Sorry you find yourself on here but you are in the best place for help and support . You need to wait untill the test results are available , please don’t consult Dr Google , information in there can be out of date and written by people with no qualifications . Stick to this site . You can phone the helpline , the people on it are fantastic and will talk sense only gained through knowledge of what we all feel .
my husband and I “ran away to Tenerife “ while waiting for results but I was 62 and our children grown up , so it was easy to run away .
We cried buckets in the wait for results . The waiting is the worst and the cruelest part .
know one knows at this stage what the results will be . You just need to stay close to your wife and loved ones .
please stay on here and we will all support you by listening / reading your worries .
love
Ruby Rose 
