I’m writing this out of panic, terror and desperation. I don’t know what to do with myself. I am trying to be strong for my wife, but inside I feel like I am on fire.
About 9 months ago my wife was lying on her back, with our very young toddler standing on her front. Accidentally, our daughter stood on her breast. The impact was sharp and extremely painful. My wife’s breasts are very small, so I think the impact was made that bit worse. From that day on, my wife complained of awful pain in her breast. But assuming it was bruising, we will thought it would just take time to heal. But over months, it never got any better and it began to slowly swell. A lump formed, that is now black and blue. She suffers horrendous discomfort, sensitivity and pain in it, day and night. Eventually 2 weeks ago we decided enough was enough and went to the doctors. The doctor examined and wondered if it might be some kind of inflamed cyst and referred us to breast unit for tests. She never mentioned the word cancer, even went so far on the referral as to say not cancerous. Today we went, and after ultrasound and mammogram and examination the specialist says he is very concerned, doesn’t know what it is and eventually said he’s about 90% certain it’s cancer. This hit us in a way I can not describe. The both of us, 8 hours later, are still numb and in shock. 7 days to wait for results. 7 days and nights of torturous waiting and fear. Inevitably, we are jumping to worst case scenarios. What confounded me is that they said the lump etc is totally separate from the incident and was not caused by the incident. To me that is inexplicable- what are the chances of that impact happening in the very part of the same breast, at the very same time, cancer develops?? But they seem certain it’s something to be worried about. My initial feeling of skepticism has given way to utter terror, about the immediate future, this week, the next week, if the beyond is to be cut short. I can’t breathe. I knew I should not have done but ventured online and the very first thing told me about inflammatory breast cancer, which is making me wonder if that’s what it is. And if it is, it sounds so fatal. The fact it affects younger women - she is 44 - seems coincidental. I don’t know what I’m asking. I don’t know what to do. I just keep thinking how if it is cancer can she have lived for the last 9 months in such otherwise good health - and how can they be so sure the incident had nothing to do with it?
Hi
my story is on my profile just click on my name to read .
wWelcome to the club that nobody wants to belong to but the best one to be in when the word Cancer gets bandied about .
Please take a breath everyone feels the same as you both are at the moment . You've landed on a rollercoaster you can't get off !
This is the worst time the waiting for results believe me when I say it does get easier .what you both need to do is take a breath and focus on one day at a time .Dont try to go too far forward worrying about that won't change anything .
One step at a time cope with the here and now . Your wife will need to know you are there to support her . You most prob will have to accept some rapid mood changes think we have all be guilty of that
Difficult to do ,but possible ,is try to distract yourselves until your next appointment . Please don't google anymore it's usually out of date .
Have a browse around the site there are some good threads .Awake is there usually someone online thru the night who can't sleep and want to chat .
I am Tagging a male member who will be able to help having been in the same position of supporting his wife.Ive no doubt others will be along shortly to talk to you .
margaret x
Dear
Sorry you find yourself on here but you are in the best place for help and support . You need to wait untill the test results are available , please don’t consult Dr Google , information in there can be out of date and written by people with no qualifications . Stick to this site . You can phone the helpline , the people on it are fantastic and will talk sense only gained through knowledge of what we all feel .
my husband and I “ran away to Tenerife “ while waiting for results but I was 62 and our children grown up , so it was easy to run away .
We cried buckets in the wait for results . The waiting is the worst and the cruelest part .
know one knows at this stage what the results will be . You just need to stay close to your wife and loved ones .
please stay on here and we will all support you by listening / reading your worries .
love
Ruby Rose
Hi Youngest78 welcome to the forum and breathe.
The Consultant is preparing you both by saying that they are concerned. However bear in mind that nothing is certain until those results come back. You are absolutely right in that the waiting time that you both now have to endure is horrendous but I'm glad that you felt able to come on here and sound off thats good to get it out.
I recognise that it may be difficult to comprehend that the two things are unrelated but in all honesty they probably are but whilst its not nice whats happened at least your daughter has enabled a problem to be identified and treated.
I see that you have already been online and had that not happened I would have advised you strongly NOT to do this as the information is not individualised enough nor unique enough but is more generic in its information and byt the sounds of it has scared the life out of you as it so often does. I don't know what this will turn out to be but be aware that this could yet still turn put to be something that is not sinister as you are thinking.
It sounds like you are scared and uncertain of whats coming but please be assured that this is perfectly normal in the situation that has occurred and it will pass I promise but right now you are most likely in shock and who wouldn't be?
If this does turn out to be Breast Cancer most of Breast Cancers now are perfectly treatable and people go on to recover well, live long and fulfilling lives so there is no reason to expect this to be fatal as you are thinking.
Please keep in touch and chat away as much as you like as we will be here for you every step of the way through the next few days. If you feel that you would like to speak with someone in person then do give the Macmillan Line a call they are great listeners and again there to offer any support that they can. 08088080000. We will be thinking of you both.
Meantime Im sure a huge big virtual hug would not go amiss so sending some your way across the net.
I just want to say...breathe....it is hard, incredibly hard...the time between symptoms and a firm diagnosis were possibly the worst days of my life. But once a treatment plan is in place it really does help. You and your wife have to focus on one day at a time. Yes...your head spins...you are both incredibly scared. We have all been there. I can’t make things better....but you will have an incredible team at the hospital who are working to find the very best treatment.
It was interesting to read about pain in your wife’s breast....I had a lot of intense pain suddenly one day.....found lumps in armpit within days. It was like it had all happened quickly but I have been reassured by my oncologist that it might have just been my body telling me something was wrong and had been for awhile. Anyway....my story is in my profile and I am a year and an half after a very high risk diagnosis. I am fit and well...bit creaky...but here.
I want to send much love, think of you all at this really challenging time....but treatment is doable, research continues....and one positive aspect of a diagnosis is that it makes you appreciate so many people and, in addition, the wonderful things around you.
Please keep in contact...we are never far away. We come from all sorts of backgrounds and diagnosis but one thing that always ring true is that, no matter what time of day....there is someone here....
Please keep posting, there’s a wealth of experience here! I’m really so sorry you needed to find the site though; but glad you did as there is so much cranky, scary as well as out of date information out there.
waiting, we all agree, is the pits, the best thing to do is try and divert your minds away from it all, inevitably it won’t work all the time, but try to breathe your way gently through.
Sending hugs to you all xxx
Moomy
I fell, tripped over a tree root , fell heavily on my right side , a few weeks later I went to the go with the lump and she said “ have you knocked this breast ?” ........but when I said this to the oncologist he said it was irrelevant,, but it makes me wonder ......
however, you are where you are now , as said before keep away from google .......scaring yourselves won’t affect the diagnosis or treatment ....and treatment these days is very affective
if this turns out to be cancer you will get used to the tests and waiting , waiting for results is a nightmare , we all understand .
pleased you have found this site .....we are survivors , there is lots of hope , best wishes.....x
Hi
Warm welcome from us as well, although everyone here would rather not have needed to find this particular club :-/
Great replies so far, hope they have eased your worries at least a little.
I doubt very much your little girl caused this but she did accidentally find and brought to your attention something that was already lurking there be that a fibroid, cyst or something a bit more scary.
At 44 no doubt your wife was several years away from getting a standard breast scan appt letter coming through the letterbox so whatever this is has been found earlier than it normally would have.
No amount of worrying will change her breast clinic results; hope for the best but if your fears are confirmed breast cancer has a high recovery rate contrary to what you see and read in the media and Dr Google (who needs to be struck off)
J my wife was diagnosed in May 2012 (see profile) and we are now living the new normal, the treatment for this can be a rocky road some days but it is do'able and for a very high % it works.
Were any biopsies taken and have you an actual date for the results ?
Fingers tightly crossed for you both at a worrying time, G n' J
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