Planning ahead...

Hi

Not sure where you are on your treatment ? I am way down the line now but after my surgery, chemo and  further surgery etc , I was due to go on holiday with my hubby and friends to a lovely villa in Spain , paid for by those lovely friends. I did not want to go, the thought of it even made me feel ill , even though I was “back to normal” and working etc. I did go , for my hubby more than anything , and I had a wonderful relaxing time, we chatted about things and I came back in a much better place. I found the thought of doing anything so overwhelming at times , but it does pass. Pick and choose what you do , before my diagnosis I had a very busy social life but have scaled things back now, and probably have become more selfish really!

Jo x

Hi Galligirl

It's very difficult to try and 'forget' that never ending sense of it recurring isn't it? I see you have finished the main part of your treatment (except the tablets which are a little gift which keep on giving as they reduce your oestrogen). The oestrogen suppressors do actually affect your mood too as oestrogen is the 'happy' hormone, which doesn't help with keeping positive and planning ahead. Exercise helps increase endorphins which are a happy trigger in the brain, which could counteract the loss of oestrogen caused by the tablets.

I was diagnosed at 51 in June 2017, so I'm nearly 3 years down the line, but luckily for me I haven't had too many nasty side effects to my tablets (anastrozole, rather than letrozole).  The first annual I was 100% convinced that it would be back and was shocked when I was told it was all ok!

So, my mindset from the first annual was to ignore the cancer until my annual.  It's obviously still there in my mind, but each time I think about it, I just think I'm not going to worry about it until my next annual.  What I do is think about is what I've changed in my life since being diagnosed - reduced stress, more exercise, reduced my alcohol intake, cut down on smoking, eating more veg/wholegrains, drinking green tea... etc.  So, I can convince myself that I'm doing the right things and that should protect me from it coming back. Plus - taking the tablets means that every day I have something which is stopping it!  By thinking this way, I'm living my life every single day to the full and in fact, have improved it.   

We've faced cancer, beaten it - it's gone and now we owe it to ourselves to make the most of every single day.  (Although it took until last Christmas holiday that I fully enjoyed my time away without thinking about it during the trip - so I promise you, those feelings do ease and gradually disappear over time).

I do still wait for my annual to be over before I book my Christmas holiday though and I always take out travel insurance from the moment I book my holidays.... just in case..

The overcoming cancer by treatments is the 'easy' bit in many cases, compared to changing our mindset with regards to our future and I was shocked how hard that was.  Have you looked at a referral for some counselling to see if this would help?

Hi Galligirl,

daughter found this incredibly hard, she had been told so many times over about a five year period to ‘get her affairs in order’ (she had a very resistant blood cancer) but had lots of counselling later after her final donor bone marrow transplant which kept her (at long last) in remission. One thing the counsellor said was that if she found it hard to think ahead too far, why bother? Plan things as she wished and gradually she felt able to manage further ahead. 

Dr Peter Harvey’s paper again talks about forward planning and how tricky it sometimes feels to plan holidays, so take it easy, plan an over night near-ish to home first, then a few days and so on. Gradually you get used to it all. 

Hugs xxx

Hi all. going to Rome with my daughter grandaughter and some friends October, I am nearly 3 years since my diagnosis so really just getting on with life although it’s hard sometimes, at first I was in denial took me a long time to believe I reall had breast cancer but as time goes on it does get a bit better.Good luck to you all.

This is all so useful to read. Thanks everyone. My hubby and I are enjoying long weekend breaks not too far from home whenever we can. Usually at the seaside as I love that blow of sea air in my face. It is hard to think a lot further ahead and we keep meeting a wall when it comes to planning our summer holiday at the moment. My Dr has signed me off work long term which is going to give me time to heal and to get my head back. And give us chance tor lots of short breaks which I shall gradually take over organising. Good to read that it does get better with time.

Thank you all...your comments are very helpful...I am thinking about getting some counselling to help me move on. I get so annoyed with myself, I just wish I could turn my head to mute!