Diagnosed and Struggling

Hi ... sorry you’ve found yourself in this position... it is a rollercoaster of appointments when they’re doing all the tests & can be very overwhelming but as you will see at the bottom I’ve focussed very much on saying ‘it is what it is, I can’t change it... so, one day at a time’... you will settle much better if you can just try to focus on today... I say it out loud whenever I can & to as many people as I can... it truly does help to focus your mind.

Also, I know it’s not easy but try to see the positives in amongst all of the negativity... thank goodness you were called for your scan early & they’ve picked it up at an early stage & it’s very treatable... I firmly believe everything happens the way it does for a reason... just imagine how much worse it would have been if you hadn’t had your first routine scan until you were 50! Imagine if you’d decided your life was too manic just at the moment & that you’re only 47 & have no symptoms so you’d decided to put it off... the fact is, it has been detected, they’re treating it & you will get through this & look back in time & be thankful that you were able to have the treatment... 

I'm afraid I can’t answer your chemo questions as thankfully I haven’t as yet had to have that but I’m quite sure plenty of others will be able to answer that for you. Have you seen there’s a chemo thread? Probably a great place to get the support you need from those who are going through it atm & have already been through it. I wish you all the best as you climb this mountain x

Hi 

First of all, it's nice to meet you. Second of all, I'm sorry it isn't under better circumstances.

I can understand your worry about chemo but honestly, it isn't that bad. I had my first round of it 15 years ago and then another round last year. It's VASTLY improved in that 15 years.  In my experience, it's not the horror show you might have seen on TV or read about in novels. It's not nice, certainly, but considering what it does for you, it's bearable. 

They have medications and tips and tricks for every side effect you might get and, in the case of the most common ones, they give you the medications to stop it before it starts.

Different chemos have different side effects, although nausea is pretty universal. Do you know yet which you will be having?

As for the cold cap - yes, I've done it both times.  I can't say whether it worked or not as it gave me an ice cream headache and I stopped before the chemo was all done. Whilst I was using it though, I had no hair loss. At least  not on my head - I didn't have to shave my legs after the first dose but I could live with that VERY easily. 

Don't worry about the crying. It's normal. We've all done it. It's natural to be a little scared of the unknown but you're doing the right things by reading and researching beforehand. 

You could also use this time to stock up on books you'd like to read, any knitting or cross stitch kits you've fancied treating yourself to - anything like that to cheer yourself up on the odd day when you just can't be bothered to do anything else.

Another good thing to do - pre-chemo - is fill your freezer with nice, nutritious, simple meals. You'll be grateful of pre-made stews, soups or whatever that you can just throw in a pan or the microwave on those can't-be-bothered-no-energy days. I also stocked up on tinned rice pudding, cereal  and yoghurts because I found cold foods easier to eat than hot on the first couple of days. (Cold food has less of an aroma and less likely to cause nausea, at least for me.) I also bought four times my own body weight in ginger ale (excellent for nausea.)

Doing this will also make you feel like you're doing something practical and taking charge and THAT is worth its weight in gold. 

Hi

sorry you find yourself on this path. But at least it's been found and can be treated. If you go on the chemo thread to the beginning theres information about what to expect during chemo. From everything I've read it's not what I first thought when you hear the words chemo ,  a lot of posts say you feel at your worst for about one week out of 3 . I cant give you any insight to chemo as yet , as not started mine. I'm scared of losing my hair too and will try the cold cap. It is after all a part of our identity . The way I deal with the prospect of losing my hair is , I'm going to give everything I've got of ridding myself of this dreadful disease. If I loose my hair and it's gone then that's a win. I've bought a wig ready for if I do. 

Take each day as it comes , try to be kind to yourself. Stay away from dr google he is not your friend. Your bc nurse is there for support , dont be afraid to contact them. If you need to cry then cry , it's a way of healing yourself. 

Ps I'm also 47 and was in total shock when diagnosed. The waiting for results is the hardest part. 

Take care 

Julie x

I too am sorry you find yourself here. My story has a lot of similarities.  I have two children 18 and 22. I had no lump or symptoms had mammogram 25 July after lots of tests found out it was breast cancer on 16 sept. I also had LCIS. Had mastectomy October. My story is in the about me section. It is very unfortunate it is breast cancer but glad it been found early. It is a roller coaster and it is unfair but you will get through it and find inner strength. Take care 

Same as all the others. We are here for you. It is scary and we cry a lot ! Normal. Hugs from France.

Sorry you find yourself here.  I had high grade DCIS diagnosed after first routine mammogram.  If you read my profile you will see it’s almost 5 years ago for me x

Hi what sort of breast cancer is it , I have invasive ductle cancer grade 3 triple negative.  Was diagnosed 2nd November 2018 had all chemo first then mastectomy 5th july right breast . 

Nanny Dooie thank you and I’ve been trying to do that since that first appointment of taking it day by day, my husband said the same thing when we were on our way home from the hospital during my meltdown that we could be having this conversation in a few years and it being a very different story. I am fortunate to have been called for an early mammogram (people say I’m lucky but I can’t say lucky as I’m not feeling very lucky right now). I know I will get through this but I’m not very patient and I hate not being in control. I’ve read your bio and it looks like you’ve been through a lot too so big hugs.

Thanks again for your kind words, it means a lot and has helped calm me down some. 

Lisa x

thank you I will have a look through the chemo thread, just the thought of having to go through it makes me cry. I’ve been told I’ll be having FEC-T. 

I think I’m going to try and give the cold cap a go although I hate being cold lol!  Not shaving my legs and underarms for a while sounds good though...although I’m not enthralled that I may lose my eyebrows and lashes too.

Thank you for the cooking tips and I’ve got a fair few books I’ve not got round to reading so maybe I’ll get to read them along with the programmes still to get through on my Sky planner!

Lisa x

gosh our stories really are similar, when do you start chemo? I’m hoping to see chemo nurses this week and my surgeon thinks I’ll start the following week but we’ll see. I do want to just get on with it but I don’t because it’s makes it real if that makes sense. 

I realised very quickly that Dr Google is not good and I’ve been reading posts on here for a while when I thought I just had DCIS to contend with. 

You’re right the waiting is hell but we will get through this.

good luck with your first session and let me know how you get on with the cold cap.

Lisa x