Struggling

Morning gina62

and Breathe!!!   Please take this the way it is intended 

Not surprised you are in meltdown it is so normal at the start - I think some of this is may be that you have started so many discussions it is doing your head in just trying to keep track of 'stuff' without the cancer angst on top..... and you may have missed some helpful replies 

They are valid questions and worries but please be kind to yourself, it will do your emotional health a lot of good if you slowed down a tad and just took things one small step at a time, don't go getting yourself bogged down with things that are much further down the road.

Being poked and prodded is a bit rubbish but they have to find out exactly what you have to give you the best treatment for a positive outcome - the bruising will heal and if any injected tracer dye was used, this will fade.

Have you been given a date to start treatment yet?

Hugs, G n' J

gina62

hi 

I think what you are feeling is perfectly understandable. Theres a sea of emotions that you go through at different stages of your treatment. Shock , fear , strength and positivity. I think the fear of the unknown and waiting for test results , and waiting for further investigations is the worst part. Once you have the results your one step closer to treatment and fighting this.

You cant be strong all of the time , and sometimes you just need to have a little meltdown in order to push on to the next step.  I hope you have a support network that can be there for you. 

Must of been the day for having meltdowns , I had one too yesterday but my big girl pants are back on and braces holding them up. 

Be kind to yourself 

Take care 

Julie x

Hi gina62, if ever in life a meltdown is warranted it's now  so be kind to yourself and what your feeling. I was diagnosed in November and the finding out and waiting for scans etc and a treatment plan was by far the worst time,which lots of people agreed with me. But when you have a plan and treatment starts you do feel better because you are doing something to fight back! At the moment your stuck in limbo. I would recommend if you have questions about treatment ie chemo,surgery, to post on the Feb chemo club or surgery chat etc  as you'll be targeting the right people to ask questions.  Also if the page is really busy threads can get bumped back a page and not as many people might see them. I hope things start to improve for you but if you feel your really not coping then do ask for short term anti anxiety medications might help . You dont have to struggle with your mental health on top of everything else. Sending virtual hugs xxxx

Hi gina62, I’m struggling as well. I was diagnosed 12 days ago with IDC triple negative, had numerous scans, x rays and bloods which are all normal but I’m so scared..no idea what to think or feel. I am booked in for surgery later this week and have no idea what to expect afterwards, the doctor told me they will decide the best course of treatment once they remove ‘it’ and get the results. I lI’ve e abroad and things are a little different I guess and with the language barrier it just feels more frightening. I completely get the meltdown and anxiety, sometimes just feels like it can’t be real but we’re all with you and rooting for each other..stay strong xx

Thank you Julie and you xx

Oh gina62

I'm empathising with you so much right now.

I was diagnosed on 4th Dec and had surgery on 20th Dec. I actually managed pretty well until getting the post-surgery biopsy results (which were all as good as they could have been) but then had to make the decision about whether or not to have Chemotherapy. But at that point I had a mega melt-down, and that included lashing out at the people closest to me which of course made me feel even worse. Other people have said that this period of 'waiting to have a plan' is the worst part - and I know that in my case since I have committed to the chemo I have felt much much better. I think maybe we all need to go through this emotional release as part of the process. I haven't seen anyone  on this site who hasn't gone through the same experience, though maybe at different times in the journey.  

My sister wrote me something this morning which has helped me - she said  "it seems to me that even when you're in the lowest point of your treatment, anytime you can take even 30 seconds to take satisfaction from the garden, enjoy a good film or book or just share a good moment with the family is a victory - it's those moments that help to keep the emotional batteries charged. Equally, there may be times when you need to rant, cry or just retreat into yourself a bit...and that's fine too  Whatever gets you through is 'doing it right'    ". 

Don't I have a lovely sister - and you too have all the sisterly (and brotherly) support of everyone in this group. Sending you a virtual hug and remember that you aren't alone.   Keep posting. 

Hi

Your story sound similar to mine (check out my profile) though I'm a few weeks further ahead than you in the journey so I had my surgery 6 weeks ago. If you want to add me as a 'friend' pleased do and we can go through this journey together.  Will you have your surgery in the country where you are living or in the UK?  I found the prospect of surgery a little scary (never had surgery before apart from a bit of intervention having my kids) so didn't know what to expect. But for me it was fine. I was home in a couple of hours - a bit sore to start with and quite a lot of 'booby bruising' in the first week or two. Then one day during the 4th week after surgery I realised that I hadn't thought about the op all day - and now everything is completely healed apart from a bit of numbness under my arm and I'm ready for the next part of the journey (which for me will be chemo - but that's a personal decision).

We're always here. 

Hi Maria thank you for your reply, yes i am in the UK and i am very grateful of the NHS. I am having chemo first then surgery, they are hoping to shrink the tumours, dreading chemo as there are so many side effects. How are you doing?

Sorry my brain isn't working i think i've replied to another message by mistake. x

No worries gina62 I know how you feel lol x