Does anyone feel the same, or is it just me

hi 

the trouble is, people don't know what to say

and, since, mostly, saying nothing is far worse, they open their mouths and say things like "you're looking great"

I found wearing a nice pair of earrings helped, it was a really easy thing for people to focus on when they didn't really want to look you in the eye and it gave them something to comment on

"nice earrings"

first time I was like, oh thanks, I got them in ...

by the third or fourth time it clicked, I'd created myself a little distraction, a welcome distraction 

it's the fact you have to deal with cancer, again, that's making you grumpy, it's the uncertainty 

we love order, we love routine, we like to know what's coming down the road

try not to blame other people, I'm sure they mean well

If I could remember who it was I'd share a link to an ancient Stoic who said something like "I realise that at least some of the people will rejoice in my passing" but I can't remember who it was, I signed up for The Daily Stoic, it seems fairly harmless in terms of SPAM.  

Fundamentally I think he was saying that most people don't wish you any harm but you can't please all the people all the time. 

or find a nice pair of earrings ...

Carolyn

xx

You are right Carolyn, thanks for replying.  I´ll could try a nose ring piercing, that might divert the attention away!!!  I´m probably grumpy, I will have to keeps that in check. xx

Hi

No, its not just you being irritable, I also find it truly annoying when people say the same to me, including the medical team!  No one really knows even the ones with medical knowledge, Cancer does it's own thing!

Best Wishes.

Hi, thanks for that, made me feel better.  That makes two of us that feel irritated!!

Best wishes back x

This conversation made me smile and I can totally sympathise. I get fed up of being told how brave I am !! Am I ? I don't feel brave at all ... I feel like S**t at times but am learning not to say so !! Maybe that is being brave ?? It is true that people don't know what to say and before this, I guess I wouldn't have either ... but by facing up to people, talking to them and letting them see that it is OK, I like to think they may feel differently when faced with another person in similar situation next time.

Hi Snapper (like the name and nice earrings btw)

I agree, I cannot bear people saying anything with the words “strong, brave, survivor, positive” etc etc. When I was diagnosed in Nov I rang my bff. Her reaction was “ Oh F******** S***, that is just F******* S*****” repeat several times. That’s an honest response and that’s why she’s my bff. X 

Hi Mariella, your message made me chuckle actually, thanks so much!!

Couldn't agree more!!!  My best friends always use these swear words each time they see me and I love them for it as it's so authentic. They are such elegant people too and it makes me laugh how they express themselves over this.   Hats off to your lovely BFF. xx

Snapper