Newly Diagnosed

Welcome to the club no one wanted to join’

There is no right way to feel and we all react differently.  My story in my profile , I’m 4 years on!  Do you know what type of cancer and what surgery you are having ?

Hi Daisy20

I’m sorry you are here. I have felt exactly the same, isn’t it strange? I was diagnosed 26th November and am having surgery next week. I was completely numb for about a week afterwards and even now I feel strangely calm about it all. Either we are Buddhist monks or this is our minds way of coping with the uncopable. (Is that a word? Probably not.) My only advice is to focus on doing whatever it is you enjoy while you’re waiting and work hard at only thinking about what is happening today. This is something we cannot control so endless thinking and worry achieves nothing. I have a 20 year old son. He was devastated. I have told him the facts and actually when you just give the facts it doesn’t sound too bad.”.I have a very small cancer, it’s coming out and I will be okay” 

Best wishes to you and your Dad. What a rubbish start to 2020 for you. It can only improve .

M x x 

HiDaisy20, sorry to hear your news  but you have found a very supportive group of people who have all been helping me so keep posting. There is no right or wrong way to feel, everyone is different. The important thing is you ask for help if you need it. Hope you get your treatment plan soon xxxx

Hi Daisy20,

Firstly, I am so sorry you find yourself here, however you are definitely in the right place. 

Your mind with be all over the place, to me you have done the hardest thing which is telling your son, I struggled will that and didn’t tell mine for 3 months, my younger ones were 12 and 15 at the time and I wanted to be able to give them the full picture, so waited till I’d have my mastectomy and all my other scans so when all the CT scans were found to be clear, I could tell them the lump was gone, the cancer hadn’t spread anywhere else, (I had lymph nodes involved) and told them I would have chemo was a precaution and although they were obviously upset I felt like I’d soften the blow.

Please keep posting we are all here for you x

Hi Daisy20

you have made contact with the right people on here, lots of support will be given, I had mastectomy last June , diagnosed in the April 2019, it’s a huge shock in the beginning, i W was open and honest through my journey with my children, they are older than yours. It was a very tough time. Numbness, anxious, scared, you name it I went through it, we are all different on dealing with these challenges we face in life don’t look too far ahead and take a day at a time, I still get days when I cannot believe what has happened, are you having a lumpectomy or mastectomy? Rest after your operation, accept all the help available to you, you will get there, don’t forget we are all here for you

Rita

Hi Daisy20,

welcome though sad you’ve needed to join us! 

yes, a diagnosis does put you into a bit of a state of shock, it takes a while to sink in. But you’ve done a hard task and that’s to tell your children. BC is really well treated these days, with targeted therapies, and generally speaking, outcomes are good.

Hope you, like me, get away with an operation (for me it was 3 even though a mastectomy was the plan right from the start!) and then medication which has its own troubles(!)

keep posting, you’ll find lots of help and support; and if you find the ‘what ifs’ are keeping you awake, well there’s always the ‘AWAKE...’ thread!

Hugs xxx

Hi there thanks for reply and apologies in replying,have been up and down the A9 visiting my dad,lm having a lumpectomy and sentinel nodes out,dont know grade or anything till after op,lve got an appointment on wed with doc then the op on fri x

Hi Daisy. We are very similar. I had my diagnosis yesterday but still awaiting the biopsies on the 20th. The waiting is awful. I have a 2cm area and four lymph nodes being checked. 
My children are 17, 16 and 12. 
Im so glad I found this forum x

Hi Rita lm having a lumpectomy and sentinel nodes removal on the 17th,hopefully it will be clear and then theyve said radiotherapy afterwards,thankyou for the good advice.My son wants to come with me morning of op so lve agreed to it if it makes him feel better.How are you now how are you coping?x

Hi

im good now, was uncomfortable for a while and to be honest although the outcome was good for me I get days when it hits me and cannot believe what happened, being positive is good , share how you feel with others, being open with your family will help, it is tough for them too, I went back to work 12 weeks after the mastectomy , I just wanted to get back to normality, I am on letrozole , side effects are not so pleasant but bearable, joint pain, weight gain but I can live with them, just glad the cancer has gone, all the best for the 17 th, will be thinking about you. Let us know how you are

Rita