Just been diagnosed and not sure how should feel

Hi Ollies41 welcome to the forum and I think from your post that you are not odd at all.

We all find different ways to deal with all this and no two ways are the same for any of us. However, detaching yourself from the emotions may work for a little while but as you already say it is not a long term solution but it may your coping mechanism for now.

How do you feel you are coping?  Because yours is the only answer to that question that matters so you approach this in the best way for you.

Sorry I dont have any experience of Mastectomy nor reconstruction but I Feel sure that one of the others will be along soon to offer some words of advice.

Meantime Im sending across some huge big hugs your way. xxxx. 

Hi

welcome I can't answer your question about reconstruction because I decided against it .At my age quite happy just to get rid of cancer ..which meant masectomy.

I found the masectomy straight forward more discomfort than pain . As I said no reconstruction so different 

read my story on profile just click on my name. Mine was calcification op 8 days After diagnosis.

With regards how you react there is no right or wrong way we all react differently ..I use humour a lot .Doesnt mean I don't get upset at times .Just go with the flow .

I was finding it hard at first believing what was happening so one night was spent repeating I've got cancer ...I had been using any word but that one and at that point was waiting for another biopsy with only4 days to go and counting . Choice to be made .

comng on here is the best thing there is do much support from people who understand what is happening . There are a few ladies  on here who have had a diep reconstruction I'm sure they'll be along shortly 

take care 

Margaret x

Hey

Welcome to the nuthouse, aka an amazing group of women (and a few men!)

You're not odd, weird, looking at it wrong or anything else. You're coping in a way that works for you.

My mum thought I was in denial, because my attitude was - it is what it is, and I will get through it. Maybe it never really sunk in that I had a pretty serious illness, I don't know. But I coped by keeping life as normal as possible. Had a port for chemo rather than a PICC, so I could keep working and shooting arrows. Had chemo days and 2 weeks for surgery off.

I had immediate implant reconstruction, rather than DIEP, as I didn't want the long recovery time. Or indeed a 9 hour surgery, as I still smoked at the time.

I only cried once, when a fellow patient told me I would not be able to continue my archery because I'd get lymphodema. Well, what did she know? 3 years on and I'm winning medals on the national stage.

So honey, you deal with this however works for you. Because there isn't a right or a wrong way. Just be aware of what's happening in your head and heart, and find someone to talk to if you need to.

Hugs xx

Hi there Sam,

I am two weeks home from hospital after having my right breast removed, diep reconstruction and all my lymph nodes removed from under my right arm all at the same time

I am recovering well and start chemo on the 16th followed by targeted therapy and hormone therapy.

I am a very positive person although have has a few wobbles and I am just so grateful to be able to have all these treatments because thats what it takes to prolong my cancer returning...….I have Invasive Lobular Cancer which is grade 3...…..I don't know what stage my cancer is as I prefer not to know as I want to keep as positive as possible to get me through the next year.....do you think that you are feeling all three of these feelings at the same time and this is why you are feeling a bit odd?

I am happy to answer any questions you may have but all our cancers our different and what happens to me may not happen in the same way for you.

I am really happy with all my decisions so far 

Best of wishes - Debbie x

Thankyou Granny59.  Not sure how I'm feeling but know my body is showing the stress by not sleeping, grinding my teeth etc. 

It really is going to help having others to talk to about this

x

Thankyou Margaret,

I use humour a lot too, although some people don't see that as a good thing to do. But it does help me to an extent. I'll have a read of your profile about the calcification.

x

Thanks Taxophilite,

I can't have too much time off work either as I'm self employed. You're right that finding someone to talk to is so important, at the moment this is difficult but good to know this will be here .

x

Hi Debbie,

I'm not sure the 'it's me' recognition has clicked in yet to be honest. I'm sure I will have no option but to accept it before long. 

How have you found the diep reconstruction? Just trying to weigh up what it may be like, pro's and con's.

Thanks

x

And fellow Sam!

Hi, can’t answer your queries re surgery as not quite there yet but can give you my thoughts re your attitude – and I say positivity is a good thing.

I am a naturally optimistic persona and can always find a silver lining on that cloud (even if challenging at times…there’s always one).   I find that my positive mental attitude has not only helped me in not only accepting this disease but in helping those close to me not get sucked into a viscous cycle of doom & gloom regarding it (which wouldn’t in turn benefit me at all). And I also, at the start of this and still, think I am odd given my attitude – so you’re not alone.

I have also kept and healthy diet, kept working part-time and maintained (although to a pathetic level sometimes!) mountain bike rides & gym sessions. This has helped more so than sitting around I reckon.

I’m lucky that I love life but wouldn’t be distraught to find that I was on a tight time frame in that respect, others are not so lucky and have dependants to consider, all I have is 2 very fat cats who aren’t quite as needy…

I also think it’s important that there is a balance of good news as well as challenging news on these forums so that those new to this palaver can see a balances view and not be mentally challenged for no real reason from the outset, all too often it can, naturally, be those who have bad side effects that post the most (and I’m not decrying their pain at all).

I would however suggest that It may be useful to talk to someone (there are counsellors available through hospital, MacMillan etc.) if you have any doubts as to whether you’re in denial as better to get these things sorted sooner rather than later, and much more effective to speak (vs type) in these cases.

I too am looking forward in the New Year to 2 new perky pals, at 50 they could do with a bit of an up-do! Am thinking plastic lovelies (diep seems like a bit too much hard work op-wise) but as have yet to fully understand what is really involved the jury is still out, and I do strongly believe in making as fully informed a decision as I can so we’ll see eh?

Don’t assume your body won’t comply as there are lots of stories ( like Margaret’s above) of tales of ops going really well, in fact I can’t recall any surgery stories other than some pain/uncomfort afterwards that can be tackled with meds/pre-meds.

So to answer your question I don’t (and hope) you’re not in denial and just have a good mental attitude that is your way of “coping” and that will see you through, as it is me…although half my family & friends do think I’m a fraud as I’m so chipper!

Good luck with the op

Sam X

Thanks for that Sam  30th Dec seems a long way away.......I always look for the positivity and an opportunity for personal growth and am sure this will start to develop more when I get some clarity on when/where/how, the practicalities of all this.

Good luck for your op too! 

xx