Onco dx results in!

Hello lady_tinkerbell, 

if it’s any comfort, I felt very similar when I too had the news I ‘only’ needed Letrozole after my mastectomy, I was clear but the cancer scored 8/8 for oestrogen. I too needed no chemo or radiotherapy. A funny sort of ‘let down’ but really rather thankful feeling. I still feel as if I’ve escaped a bullet! 

But we are here, we are being carefully looked after and monitored and are really glad that ‘that’s it’ 

hugs xxx

Thank you moomy. I don’t know about a score like 8/8. My consultant said 214 for my oestrogen and something in the hundreds for progesterone. !!! He said it was very high hormone receptive which is very good. I asked why it was good and was told because that’s the source of food. Take it away and cancer won’t thrive. So the medication is doing that! 

It’s surreal to say I had cancer. Cos it’s gone now. I feel almost fraud like! How can such a serious illness appear in August and be gone by December??!! 

I don’t want to dwell or live those dark times but I feel is it real now that it’s gone? Feel afraid almost. 

Yes I know! I’ve had some panicky times, but know that my bc unit is happy to sort me out if I need to get seen again. 
at least we are done and dusted and don’t have to worry about it, you are in good time for this Christmas, I was well and getting fit again late last spring. We were lucky (!) in that both of us had our health scares the year before our Golden Wedding. 
hugs xxx

Hey lady_tinkerbell that is....

News!!

However no one expects you to be jumping for joy! Not yet anyway. Give yourself time to let it sink in. Allow your thoughts to catch up with the emotions and feelings that you have probably had locked away for the last few months!

You have been busy having appointments, scans, biopsies and surgery! Your body is still healing physically but also it's now you start healing psychologically. Today is the day you say to yourself WOW I HAD CANCER!! Up till now it's been an illness you needed to get treated. Now it's something that you need to learn to live with. 

Sound silly?! Well we've all been there. This is where you start asking yourself How it happened ? Why it happened? Will it happen again? Etc etc and the hardest part......there are no real answers to any of those questions! This is now about learning to live with the new you! I promise you when it comes to Cancer theres no such thing as I JUST had surgery!! Your body has been through a huge shock! A life changing shock! For most of us it's the first time we actually thought about our own mortality!! 

So miss Tinkerbell! BEFORE you call work and say you are coming back. Give yourself time (if you can afford it) until the New Year maybe! Allow yourself time to catch up with what you have been through. Because if you rush back you'll probably regret it! Also take it slowly start a phased return. You might find yourself very emotional for the next few weeks/months! Do your colleagues know? Are you ready to face any awkward questions? Or more importantly are you ready to be treated like nothing ever happened? When in fact this was probably the biggest thing you've ever faced!!

Hope that makes sense and hope I haven't said too much! But one more thing! You are welcome here on this board for as long as you need us. You may want to help others or you may just want to stay chatting to friends who understand, for a while at least! But whether you stay around or go at some point, we'll always be here for you. 

Really happy to hear your Good News! What a fabulous Christmas present! Love you. Sal xxxx

Your post has so much that is true for me and what's running through my head.

It makes so much sense x thank you x

Hi Sal 

thank you so much. Everything you have said means so much. You’re spot on. In all of it. 

And it is all psychological now. Life since August has been appointment and hospital and scan and test and biopsy and surgery etc etc. I feel lost almost now! I’m going to ring bcn tomorrow re prosthetic and how I know when I’ve healed and should I massage etc. Tbh the massage may be difficult. I still haven’t looked at my scar or in the mirror naked. Def still in denial. Hubby looks to check it’s ok. Consultant said this was ok but referred me to psychology services within hospital. Lol. 

I think il tell work that il come back in new year. Financially it will be a killer but we will cope somehow. 

I have no intention of leaving here for the foreseeable. I need you too much. Loosing my boob gained me some good women on here. I also like the thought of helping others now I’m not the newbie. !! 

Speak to you on awake thread later! 

Love you xx

Hi again,

Sal is so right, work can wait, you need to get yourself fully physically and mentally fit and only then return on a phased gradual return. Ask HR (if work has them) if they will help you put a programme together. Financially, if you’ve got worries there, phone the Macmillan helpline on 0808 808 0000 as they have advisers who can help with anything you can claim? 

the psychological side of breast cancer takes some sorting, I strongly believe I’m only just getting there now, and my Mx was in April 2018! Mind you, I am taking Letrozole which does have a bit of an effect on the mind! I find my anger (if it starts) is harder to control, and maybe my fear (of recurrence) will be with me for many years yet. 
For you, you need to deal with getting friendly with the scar and seeing it, dealing with the massaging if it’s healed, and getting to grips with the visible signs of what it’s done to your body. 

One thing that has helped is exercise! I walk more often now than I did (has to help bone strength) and I began yoga about a year pre-diagnosis and got back to it 3 months post surgery though my yogi teacher sent me home when she began any hefty weight bearing for a few weeks, bless her! But I’ve also done a bit of yoga at home in between too. 

Hugs xxx

I am so pleased you got a low Onco score and do not need Chemo.  I had my mastectomy on 9th October and I also received a low Onco score so no Chemo.

I agree with all the advise you have already been given regarding returning to work and your recovery.  I went back to work last week on a phased return as physically I thought I was fine to do so and I underestimated my mental recovery.  Now I am back at work I feel as though I have to stay in work, but I have lost all motivation to do my job and feel as though I have lost confidence in myself.   

I am currently receiving 1:1 counselling which is helping.

From somebody who has returned to work too soon my advise is to take your time and don't feel that you need to rush back to work and look after your emotional well being  x